She describes one encounter that illustrates vividly that psychological death. “A woman told me, ‘My son, who’s 7, screams every night. I keep being afraid he’ll have a fit. He’s been like this ever since he saw his sister’s head blown up.’ I realized that she had seen it too. But her tone of voice didn’t change when she told the story. To protect herself, she has to talk about what happened without showing any emotion at all. Because if she allows even a sliver of emotion to enter her voice, she’s going to shatter into a million pieces. She seemed to understand what was going through my mind, and she said, ‘Yes, I know, but I also have living children who need me.’”