Ezekiel 23

tbh I think the backend software itself should prompt you to select a default language on signup and choose not to specify should be an option or multiple should be an option for people who really just post in multiple languages. that way people who are either monolingual or just do most of their interaction in one language (probably a great majority of users) can have their posts auto tagged.

I say “I continue to be blessed with gainful employment.” My voice is flat enough that people can either take it as gratitude / positivity or (more likely) as a bit of my classic dry wit.

storytime:

had a patient so fractious they would wake up agitated and stumble out into the hall trying to fight people. I noticed one time passing this room that the pt was gurgling in their sleep, (excess saliva being a side effect of all the antipsychotics they were getting for the punching). this turned out to be pretty common for them. They would then start coughing and sputtering, then wake up.

So you have a feedback loop: Choke on your own spit, wake up mad about it, punch a nurse, get more antipsychotics, pass out while making more spit to choke on and so on and so forth.

Now this pt did have sublingual atropine drops ordered that would stop the excess salivation, but there was no way to get them to willingly let me put them under their tongue…

…so I did it while they were still asleep. When I heard the gurgling I would have a coworker shine a light on the ceiling while I heel-toed in with the drops, very carefully dropped 4 as close to the bottom lip as I could manage, then toe-heeled my way back out. the gurgling would dry up and stop before the pt started choking.

no more overnight agitation. no more punching. no more shots. well none on my shifts anyways. everybody else was too scared. I figured I was being swung on either way I may as well actually try to fix it.

would probably have a stroke or heart attack.

I’m in the same boat as the other reply, I can use them for a lot of stuff but for ANYTHING work related even just viewing my schedule let alone sending HR a sick note or w/e I need chrome proper to log into the organization’s intranet. Degoogled chromium, even Firefox just keeps reprompting me to enter my authenticator codes.

yeah I have to inventory peoples things for work and some things you just KNOW. Like a guy in a coma in the ICU needed all his jewelry removed before an MRI and when we saw it was a pet tag we were eeeextra careful to make sure that did NOT get lost. hospital can pay if we lose something fancy but there’s 0 way to replace a dead pets tag. one person came in with some kinda weird knotted rag and I was like hm I’m not gonna wash this with the other clothes because it doesn’t look like it would survive but if it was trash they wouldn’t keep trying to repair it so I found a good pocket of the bag to put it back in. found out later in the shift when the parents came by; baby blanket. A lot of items just have an aura even if you can’t pinpoint why right away.

there should be spiders in your walls. they eat the worse shit. as long as they’re not recluses or widows (or whatever the actual dangerous kind in your locality are) leave them alone. They’re like the insect version of cats, they’re a symbiotic organism that keeps disease out. I understand not wanting them directly in your space with you but if they’re in the walls and vents where they belong leave them alone. trust me if you’d ever woken up to a cockroach crawling on your face or had your house eaten out from under you but termites you’d welcome the hidden spiders because modern cockroaches and termites don’t give a flying fuck about pesticides.

Oh this happens to me a lot actually I specialize almost specifically handling this kind of patient as a nurse (I started out on a unit for criminally insane men and now work lower acuity using that experience to mostly help and educate other nurses when they occasionally run into it).

Basically you do everything you can to look like you’re ignoring it while actually keeping yourself safe, then let the natural consequences slap them in the face like a cartoon character stepping on a rake.

So for me that looks like doing my assessment / negotiation (what looks like) alone a few steps into the door but I actually have two people outside on either side of the doorframe. I then also have multiple witnesses to all of the bullshit they spew and write it down for someone to read to the judge at their hearing.

For you it’s more likely something like recording your interactions then giving those to someone who can make their life suck.

They know it’s not abuse, they have a high horse they wanna ride on someone else’s post.

I guess the elevator pitch is 10y experience inpatient psychiatry including forensics (“criminally insane”), now I teach restraint classes 1x a month and other units in the hospital have a special version of a code they can use to summon me (kinda like a code blue except the patient is still, and literally kicking).

My husband just woke up and said the exact same thing unprompted. Literally this exchange almost word-for-word.

“That’s a rat though.”

“HOW CAN YOU TELL?” - more emphasis on my part due to hearing this for the second time today

“Just how it is. That’s a rat.”

After additional discussion and googling, the actual answer is, my dear people, mostly size, but also more subtly the proportions of the ear and tail to the rest of the body.

I’ve had to handle dogs and cats and when I was younger occasionally livestock. As an employed adult though I’ve mostly had to handle other humans, but many of the same concepts of how to be nice when you have to do something objectively uncomfortable still apply (namely, do it as fast as you possibly can without causing more damage). Restraints are actually kind of not just my specialty but also one of my subspecialties, but that’s a whole different conversation. To this conversation the answer is “usually velcro and plastic buckles, on cotton fabric for the little old ladies and neoprene for people with actual muscle.”

Modern EMRs flag various data for review. A BMI over or under a specific range triggers a dietician consult to review the patients diet orders. Dietician doesn’t even review most patient charts without a consult, so out of the 5 things I forget to do everyday, the EMR can look at the height and weight I put in and put in the consult automatically. It’s one less thing and lemme tell ya, there are a LOT of things. So if I’m admitting a little old lady who was on the floor of her house after 2 days with a broken hip, in the middle of reconciling her medications and getting all of her feces off her, the EMR will call the dietician for me, who will look at her and be like “oh she REALLY needs some protein shakes yeah.”

There’s a lot of reasons a lot of things happen and the history and ethics of animal experimentation is a particularly long winded subject of which I will not be getting into any more of a debate than I have somehow gotten sucked into already.

idk ask a vet most of the animals I’ve worked with are larger than that

Please also enjoy these images of a hedgehog and a human baby getting an x-ray and a bird being weighed:

ooc how can you tell?

Tumblr Heritage moment: Pear wiggler meme for added memetic context:

Will also crosspost to curated tumblr with thanks to OP

Connections Puzzle #1064
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So. Fucking. CLOSE