• 304 Posts
  • 1.21K Comments
Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 16th, 2023

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  • Mod list from the video, via screen shot

    Big Data String Library
    Bot Servicing
    Burner off shore pump
    Death curses
    Dirt path
    Dirty barrels
    Div0resity
    Explosive fuels
    Explosive trees
    Factorio library
    Hardcore start
    Hostile trees
    Imperfect engineer
    Imperfect storage
    Limited logistic bots
    No cliff explosives/landfill
    Nuclear strike on death
    Osm-lib
    Osm-lib post process
    Placeable off grid
    Powered belts
    Production scrap 2
    radioactive kills slowly
    rampant maintenance
    realistic underground belts
    small fluids
    spilled items
    treeeees
    undeletable fluids
    warehousing mod
    wreckage pollution
    























  • Why would you want to fix it if he constantly pushes your boundaries purposely?

    I’m not OP, but I have similar issues. I ask myself this CONSTANTLY. There’s a part of me that is a hole that a proper, good father could fill. Obviously, I don’t have that and he never will, but I still crave it. Imagine being hungry and there’s the best food on the other side of the window and you can never have any. You’re still hungry and there’s a part of you that is pressing against that window, even though another part of you knows you can’t get into the store.


  • One of the pivotal moments for me was on my wedding day. I didn’t receive any message from him—not even a simple acknowledgment. I had hoped to hear from him, and his silence cut deeply, making me realize how distant we had become.

    One year, my father said he didn’t think he could visit. I have his only grandkids. He’s retired and rich. He has connections to get cheap travel. He takes multiple out-of-country trips a year (that I’ve never been on). There is literally no reasonable explanation why he can’t visit in a year and plenty of typical reasons for him to do so. I haven’t talked to him in more than 5 years.

    My anger/sadness dulls with time, but never goes away. I constantly have to remind myself that the father I want doesn’t exist and never did. It has gotten easier with time, but it’s still a scar. Just like a real scar, it gets angry from time to time, but it’s not as bad as when I first got it.

    It’s taught me a lot of lessons. It taught me not to be like him. My mom once asked my wife “where did he learn to play with the kids like that? His father never did that.” When my wife told me that, I couldn’t explain it, either. I just treat my kids like I wanted to be treated when I was a kid.

    I’ve gone to therapy and it helps. Maybe I should go back. As my kids grow, I’m learning new ways in which he failed me and our family. I never knew what I was missing, but now that I have to provide that for my kids, I see what he did wrong. Every year it’s something new. I imagine it’ll be that way until I die.

    So, I’m sorry, but I don’t think it ever disappears (as you can tell by the energy I’m typing with). I think it fades. Take from it the lessons that you can. Don’t let the pain be fruitless. Acknowledge it, use it as guidance, “I know what not to do.”