I need some impartial third party advice.
I told my mom the other day that she clearly doesn’t love or care about me because of the way she voted. I don’t believe she can both love her trans daughter while simultaneously willingly inflicting as much suffering as possible.
I decided to block her for a few days.
My aunt, who also hated Trump, is someone I could previously confide in. She cold shouldered me after I sent her the text I had previously sent to my mom.
Finally my aunt was an adult and texted me back last night with this.
“Thought would not have any effect. Didn’t like text you sent your mom. U R on my naughty list was not nice, u owe her an apology. Election wasn’t close decisive across country broke blue wall. Like it or not will be our president next 4yrs be an adult accept & move on!! U take too personal & how it impacts you. We all have choices/decisions it’s about Respect can’t expect others to respect yours if you can’t extend the same courtesy to others. No idea what u r talking about lying never questioned or said you were on job search, good luck with that. I’m taking a long break, disappointed have my own health/medical issues to address so focusing on that & me now. Happy Thanksgiving”
Now this is a person who texted me constantly about what a “pig fucker” Trump is, then she went radio silent a week before the election. When I inquired about the post election results she said “the world isn’t ready for a woman president so I didn’t even vote.” I have a strong feeling she actually voted for Trump and couldn’t stomach telling me that to save face.
Anyways- so I did call my mom and try to apologize against my better judgement. She didn’t answer so I left a voicemail. Basically I said I’m sorry I reacted that way, and I’m under a lot of stress.
She hasn’t replied in text or called back continuing to cold shoulder me essentially throwing my apology in my face.
Now I’m furious. My sister cut my mom out for months because my parents wouldn’t send her money for college. The second she called them back they took her in with open arms as if nothing ever happened. They never treat me that way. Brittany is the golden child of my mom and my stepdad (her current husband). The standards are entirely different for my sister and I. I’ve always been treated worse.
Based on this limited view of my family what should I do? I’m thinking about rescinding my apology and just cutting them out forever. To me it seems clear they don’t actually care about me at all.
When I was hospitalized for three days from my bike accident my mom never came to see me. She’s a 9 hour drive away. When I had my highly invasive SRS she never called to check on me when I was recovering in the hospital. She actively hated the fact I was even doing it telling me “I’ll never look right.”
Pretty sure she’s an objectively awful human being.
Good on you to backtrack and make amends with your mom. Its not right to demonize your family over politics unless they explicitly express sentiments that contradict your well being.
Its not right that your aunt and mom gave that childish reaction but at the same time your actions were also childish. Point is, apologize as you did and have them apologize for their reaction. What they did was essentially return the same energy when they should have been the bigger person.
On a side general note:
Rather than focusing on who someone voted, focus on why they voted and go from there. Someone who votes for trump is not automatically a racist bigot etc. they could have voted for many other reasons. Dont fall into the obvious mind trap that every trump voter is a piece of shit. That just further divides society.
Edit: didnt realize there was more. If your mom didnt give any excuse for why she didnt check up on you then theres not much to lose in ghosting her at this point.