A few months ago, there was a post on the antifeminist sub. The post was a screenshot from an incel website that was posted on the Nothowgirlswork sub. There was a comment from nothowgirlswork which roasted the incel post.

The incel said he felt anxiety when he walked on the streets and saw women. The comment from nothowgirlswork was ridiculing him for feeling fear of women. He didn’t say anything misogynistic. There are some incels (on incel websites) who condone horrible things like raping women. This post was not like that.

It made me think that society expects men to be fearless and brave. Men are human and fear is a normal emotion that everyone has. It’s normal to feel anxiety around women, if the man has been traumatized in the past. Maybe the incel was traumatized by a woman in the past. People shouldn’t judge someone without knowing them.

The truth is women can be just as dangerous as men. Society has to stop thinking women are not as dangerous.

If a woman said she felt anxiety around men, redditors would be supporting her. They would say men are rapists and she should be scared of them. She would get all the empathy and sympathy. Reddit shows what people think secretly. Many people in society have this double standard too.

  • huginn
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    1 year ago

    I don’t see people in society acting as though women have no potential for violence and are not dangerous, merely that the average woman is less dangerous than the average man: a fact that is held up by statistics.

    Fear is a normal emotion though and you’re allowed to feel fear. What you’re not allowed to do is let fear become phobia. If men scare you so much you can’t go outside: see a therapist. You’re unreasonable at that point. If women scare you so much that you are afraid of even seeing them: go see a therapist. Fear has become phobia and phobias are a dysfunction.

    Anxiety and concern are normal but nobody should be supported or encouraged to feed those anxieties and fears to an unreasonable degree.

    • ADHDisHELL@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      So why do I have only see the “therapy” suggestion on mens’ posts, while women get unending support?

      • huginn
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        1 year ago

        Confirmation bias is a helluva drug

        There are plenty of posts telling women they’re delusional and they’re imagining things. Plenty telling them to seek help. You don’t remember them because they don’t offend you.

        On my end of confirmation bias: I’ve seen plenty of men express vulnerability and get support and compassion.

        Anecdotes are not data.

      • snooggums@kbin.social
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        1 year ago

        Because women need support and men just need to get their shit together of course.

        It is men’s fault that they have any stress in their lives and therefore must get therapy to avoid becoming the violent monsters that they inherently are. Women are just observing reality and therefore need to be consoled.

        Note: I am blaming patriarchy and society’s double standards.

    • RandoCalrandian@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      The average women is less dangerous than the average man when you take weapons and proxy violence out of the picture

      How convenient that you do, as well.

    • hotpotato138@kbin.socialOP
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      1 year ago

      I just think it was wrong of the commenter from nothowgirlswork to ridicule that guy. I also read a statistic today which said 49% of domestic violence victims are men.

      • huginn
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        1 year ago

        Agreed: ridiculed is not helpful.

        But he should seek therapy for his phobias as much as a woman should.

        As for the 49% statistic: that may be true, but the statistics I’ve seen here done support it: https://ncadv.org/STATISTICS

        • hotpotato138@kbin.socialOP
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          1 year ago

          But he should seek therapy for his phobias as much as a woman should.

          Yeah, he can get therapy if he feels like it.

          • huginn
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            1 year ago

            It’s not useful if he doesn’t feel like it