Also so often they aren’t nice, they just think they are.
But for real. Wash frequently, groom yourself, get out of the house, and start making platonic friends. From there learn to flirt. Oh also, acknowledge the reality of how attractive you are and while it’s totally cool to shoot above your range, accept that you’re probably going to get someone similarly desirable to you. Oh and get your mental and emotional health under a certain level of control, emotional labor is part of a relationship but so often I see lonely people seeking codependency.
I was once a weirdo loser who couldn’t get a partner, and anyone who can’t do the above needs to take a good long look at why and resolve those issues. If you can’t be happy single a relationship won’t make you happier, they’re more of happiness multipliers.
Hopefully as they age they realize the friend zone never existed and these people either never saw them as potential mates/dates or they did and the guy did something to change that.
My wife tried to friend zone me early in our relationship. She wanted to date around and still be friends with me. I told her that wasnt ok with me because i had stronger feelings for her than that and id be miserable. I cut ties.
A few months later she asked me on a date out of the blue. I spoke my peace that to me, this was a real date. Well, that was almost 13 years ago and we just had our 9th wedding anniversary
I did something similar with a women I felt strongly about. I shot my shot and I got something like “I don’t know if I want to be with anyone right now. Not even like a hook up.” as an answer. I obviosuly took that as a “No” and let the subject drop. I wasn’t angry or outraged that she didn’t give me the answer I wanted. Disappointed, yes. Maybe even a bit sad.
But I harbored no animosity towards her. She didn’t owe me a fucking thing. But I did believe it wasn’t fair to myself or her to try to maintain a friendship when it was always going to be colored by my romantic interest in her. It didn’t feel honest. So I quietly let it and her go.
About 8 months later, she found out I was leaving town for another city. She showed up at my job and basically begged me to get into her car. We drove around for a couple of hours while she brought up all the silly shit we used to joke about like running away to Europe together and similar while all but pleading with me to stay.
I had found out months back that she was sleeping around with practically all my male friends the entire time I was chasing her and even after turning me down. I reiterate that she didn’t owe me anything but I felt so god damn disrespected and foolish. I just calmly said that my leaving town was set in stone and that I was seeing somebody. She didn’t take it well and I legitimately thought she was going to drive us off a bridge a few times.
Tl;dr Had a crush on a girl and got turned down. End friendship because I don’t want to get hurt when she sees other men. Girl comes back later begging me to stay when she finds out I’m leaving town. Doesn’t know that I know she’s been fucking around with my friends during the entirety of our friendship and thereafter. Tell her no and she activates berserker mode.
Oh, it’s definitely satire, making fun of “nice guys” who complain that they’ve been “friendzoned”.
The horror, friendship!
but I’m NICE! How couldn’t she love me?
Congrats on meeting the bare minimum of being a decent human, fucko.
Also so often they aren’t nice, they just think they are.
But for real. Wash frequently, groom yourself, get out of the house, and start making platonic friends. From there learn to flirt. Oh also, acknowledge the reality of how attractive you are and while it’s totally cool to shoot above your range, accept that you’re probably going to get someone similarly desirable to you. Oh and get your mental and emotional health under a certain level of control, emotional labor is part of a relationship but so often I see lonely people seeking codependency.
I was once a weirdo loser who couldn’t get a partner, and anyone who can’t do the above needs to take a good long look at why and resolve those issues. If you can’t be happy single a relationship won’t make you happier, they’re more of happiness multipliers.
But the sun is out there. I think I’ll stay where the giant nuclear fusion reactor can’t see me
Join us vampires by only going out at night
Be interesting and affable don’t be boring and mean.
Yup, you’re nice but are you interesting and fun to hang with?
Hopefully as they age they realize the friend zone never existed and these people either never saw them as potential mates/dates or they did and the guy did something to change that.
Eh i would say the friend zone absolutely exists.
My wife tried to friend zone me early in our relationship. She wanted to date around and still be friends with me. I told her that wasnt ok with me because i had stronger feelings for her than that and id be miserable. I cut ties.
A few months later she asked me on a date out of the blue. I spoke my peace that to me, this was a real date. Well, that was almost 13 years ago and we just had our 9th wedding anniversary
I did something similar with a women I felt strongly about. I shot my shot and I got something like “I don’t know if I want to be with anyone right now. Not even like a hook up.” as an answer. I obviosuly took that as a “No” and let the subject drop. I wasn’t angry or outraged that she didn’t give me the answer I wanted. Disappointed, yes. Maybe even a bit sad.
But I harbored no animosity towards her. She didn’t owe me a fucking thing. But I did believe it wasn’t fair to myself or her to try to maintain a friendship when it was always going to be colored by my romantic interest in her. It didn’t feel honest. So I quietly let it and her go.
About 8 months later, she found out I was leaving town for another city. She showed up at my job and basically begged me to get into her car. We drove around for a couple of hours while she brought up all the silly shit we used to joke about like running away to Europe together and similar while all but pleading with me to stay.
I had found out months back that she was sleeping around with practically all my male friends the entire time I was chasing her and even after turning me down. I reiterate that she didn’t owe me anything but I felt so god damn disrespected and foolish. I just calmly said that my leaving town was set in stone and that I was seeing somebody. She didn’t take it well and I legitimately thought she was going to drive us off a bridge a few times.
Tl;dr Had a crush on a girl and got turned down. End friendship because I don’t want to get hurt when she sees other men. Girl comes back later begging me to stay when she finds out I’m leaving town. Doesn’t know that I know she’s been fucking around with my friends during the entirety of our friendship and thereafter. Tell her no and she activates berserker mode.
I refer you to the second part “or the guy did something to change that”. You walking away made her reconsider how she valued you.