Whether you believe in gender norms or not, they are exist and are extraordinarily prevalent. I didn’t mean that as a jab or implication directed at you, just to be clear, but I run into the situation quite a lot. I’m switch with women but exclusively sub with men so maybe it’s a bit more obvious in the gay community where expectations are less clearly defined, but the number of messages I’ll have to screen which essentially amount to “I’m Dom because I’m doing the penetrating” are far too many. Finding neglect for the mental aspects of submission is a very quick way of weeding people out.

There is though an allure in having my usual sexual preferences flipped, and a power in choosing to give up the power that you would ordinarily expect to be free to exercise as an adult human

You know the feeling of when you take a vacation to someplace new and never want to leave. I imagine the new perspective feels quite a bit like that 😇