When I was in college, I was thinking about going the pre-med route and becoming a doctor. I talked to a family friend who was a doctor - someone who knew me since I was a baby. With kindness and compassion, he told me he thought it would be a big mistake, I’d probably fail at it, and then I’d be worse off in the end.
It wasn’t because he I thought I didn’t have the intelligence to handle it. He explained that for him and nearly every doctor he knew, it was something they desperately wanted to do since they were young; that they literally could not see themselves as being anything other than a doctor. Because in order to get through medical school, then residency, and even in your career, you need that to be able to get you through the real tough times. Because it’s REALLY hard to be a doctor, and the people who do it do get fulfillment from it, but that’s because it’s the thing they always wanted.
I think about that a lot in relation to kids. I might be biased because I have more than one and they are little… but it’s fucking HARD. It’s rewarding of course but I wanted to be a dad even when I was a kid myself. When I saw my future, I only ever saw it with kids. It’s that intangible quality that keeps me going in the tough times. I would go as far as to say if kids aren’t something you ever wanted, then I don’t believe you will likely find fulfillment in it. If you happen to find yourself in that situation, I’m sure you can make the most of it. But I strongly reject the idea that kids automatically fill some sort of hole in every adult‘s life.
When I was in college, I was thinking about going the pre-med route and becoming a doctor. I talked to a family friend who was a doctor - someone who knew me since I was a baby. With kindness and compassion, he told me he thought it would be a big mistake, I’d probably fail at it, and then I’d be worse off in the end.
It wasn’t because he I thought I didn’t have the intelligence to handle it. He explained that for him and nearly every doctor he knew, it was something they desperately wanted to do since they were young; that they literally could not see themselves as being anything other than a doctor. Because in order to get through medical school, then residency, and even in your career, you need that to be able to get you through the real tough times. Because it’s REALLY hard to be a doctor, and the people who do it do get fulfillment from it, but that’s because it’s the thing they always wanted.
I think about that a lot in relation to kids. I might be biased because I have more than one and they are little… but it’s fucking HARD. It’s rewarding of course but I wanted to be a dad even when I was a kid myself. When I saw my future, I only ever saw it with kids. It’s that intangible quality that keeps me going in the tough times. I would go as far as to say if kids aren’t something you ever wanted, then I don’t believe you will likely find fulfillment in it. If you happen to find yourself in that situation, I’m sure you can make the most of it. But I strongly reject the idea that kids automatically fill some sort of hole in every adult‘s life.