a lot of the go-to advice on this kind of shit truly just reinforces hollow, atomized self-worship. like yeah there is a certain fun to doing whatever you want living alone, but plenty of shit that’s emptily hedonistic is fun in the short term but still bad for you long term. i’ve also done plenty of the “live for you, bruh” stuff typically pointed at dude-presenting people struggling with loneliness and dating, i have a lot of hobbies and interests. but the desire for a partner and/or just like social connection and cohesion and meaning through other people remains and is honestly completely normal and human.

what comrade Jack said below is on point, if you don’t prioritize romance and/or kids it shouldn’t be for cheap, libidinal solipsism. finding community through meaningful work IRL and making great new friends through that really pulled me out of a hole where i felt lonely and powerless on multiple fronts. but you know, even though my social life is pretty great in a lot of ways now, there’s still a piece missing without a good partner. there’s just only so much control one has over that and the material conditions to find it have gotten pretty decayed (same goes for all social bonds, tbh).

(only speaking to the partner part to be clear, having kids has never appealed to me and that seems highly unlikely to change this stage of the game)