Hey comrades, how do you deal with bigotry irl?
I’m really sick of so many people around me just saying some LGBTphobic, misogynistic or racist shit. It’s bad enough seeing it all over social media everyday, but irl it’s even worse. And I can’t bring myself to confront anyone about it, be it in person or in a voice call. I don’t even know how to confront this type of behavior, what to say, what tone to use, which expressions to make. The few times I managed to do it I was either mocked or met with verbal resistance.
It also doesn’t help that my city is very right-wing to say the least, it’s like no one I know even think about any of this. It’s honestly so tiring.
I’m not afraid to call if by its name. Something along the lines of “I find this line of reasoning racist/homophobic/etc. I prefer to describe it as [objective view]. It’s dangerous to go that way because of [consequences of bigotry]”.
I’m not calling my interlocutor racist, bad, evil, or whatever. I’m criticising his line of reasoning.
I generally try not to do that where they may feel attacked, or ashamed between their group either. Because these are neighbours, and it’s really useful to be acquainted with people around you. They are just repeating common sense they listen to. If you give them an alternative, they don’t hate it. And I live in a small rural white community, as an immigrant.
People have been generally welcome to this kind of approach. And it opens doors for more nuanced conversation.
If resistance happens, you don’t have to win the conversation, but you didn’t just agree with it, you called by its name, and you gave them a hook into thinking in a different way, should they decide to explore it.
Again, the point is not to ashame them between their peers. That’s a frontal social attack, and it will obviously cause resistance. The point is to name it, and offer an alternative, to build agreement and move forward together.