Dating? … this basically describes the entire internet at this point
We exited the information age about ten years ago and went straight into the instant monetization age, where nothing matters and all we’re trying to do with one another is make another dollar.
Dating apps are full of:
Girls who are trying to get instagram followers or cash for nudesGirls who are so uninterested in any chat because they have about a thousand other guys texting them
Guys who are just being outright creeps and want nothing but to get in your pants
And finally, lonely bi guys who are great at convo and genuinely looking for love or friendship, they usually end up with an other guy just like that
Dating is fine, dating apps suck. That and people’s seeming unwillingness to pull themselves away from them, despite claiming to hate them. Go find a hobby, meet people there.
Personally, I feel that maybe the apps suck (Try some new ones, I really liked hinge}. But, the fact that you can meet people online these days is a huge boon to human coupling. I am a liberal living in a mostly Republican area, so trying to meet people in real life kind of felt like a landmine situation. Additionally, I have an anxiety disorder and I’m not sure I ever would have got enough experience dating to build up the emotional calluses that allowed me to win over my fiance! It also allows for a far wider pool of dating. You could spend all day every day trying to meet people in person and unless you’re already confident enough, I am not, you’re going to have more interactions online. My disorder is really not that severe, So I have major sympathy for people with worse symptoms than mine. For those people, online dating could be, functionally, their only way.
Character limits too. “Hi, I’m a nice guy who likes to go hiking, likes natures and I’m looking for someo-” is cut off because that’s what all dating apps feel is more than enough for you to be looking for someone by. Facebook Dating is an example.
I like lists and spreadsheets.
I made one spreadsheet for going through dating profiles in OKCupid.
I don’t remember many details from it anymore - maybe my current girlfriend I’ve been with for more than a year now was the about 200-300th profile I crashed upon. And maybe there was a 15% chance that a profile I liked answered my message once and never again..
Finding a partner may also need persistence.
I was determined enough to find someone beside me. I worked with my goal and with that spreadsheet for months, having pauses here and there.
Why the spreadsheet? Cos (I like 'em plus) I wanted to know and MEASURE, how much work my goal needed to for it to be accomplished (in my case, under these stars and circumstances).
(I didn’t pay for the service.).
How determined are you?
Now who says romance is dead?!?
I guess it gets down to whatever whoever is ready to do to reach their Goal X.
Of course - in this case - it could require much less work to find a one-night stand partner than a serious relationship partner.
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And - Online dating isn’t the only option!
If you get tired of the digital files and the algorithms and the profiles, go outside and meet new folks!
the internet turned dating into a grindset. not everything can be solved with “do you even lift ?”
Would dating be easier outside the Internet?
I called it the statistical approach. I messaged any woman I found visually attractive or that seemed interesting and fun through their description. Didn’t limit myself to one app and in messages always made it clear I was looking for a relationship in real life and wasn’t looking to chat for long. I probably messaged around 20 to 40 people a day. Got a positive message back around every 2 days or so. So one in 2 days roughly. Sometimes less, sometimes more. I had a several dates during the course of half a year or so ranging from fun to boring to catastrophic. Some casual hookups happened but it was rare. Sometimes dating lasted for a few weeks but didn’t work out. Then eventually I met my now wife and mother of my kids.
Online dating is still bs but I found this approach to work for me.
Yeah. That and you cut so many important parts of meeting your partner. This is a easy shortcut for people with low social skills. Cutting important parts of meeting someone, and being already in the I like you let’s X, usually ends poorly. You see some successful stories here and there, but there sre millions dating through apps.
Source: last two relationships from Tinder didn’t go well after the honeymoon phase.
I definitely agree, but you can use dating apps with the goal of just meeting new people. Reorient a “first date” into a more casual hangout to get to know this new friend and potential partner. I treated dating almost like interviewing and looked for incompatibilities or irreconcilable differences within the first few conversations. Not saying it’s easy (and organic meetings are much better), but it can be done.
Source: went on several dates with people through Bumble and Hinge until I found my partner.
Sadly most of people (lovers, bots, scammers) dealing the same way IRL. Its all about what you have to offert (aka money).
dont do it then?
While not perfect, Grindr has way less issues. You can see who’s around and online, and you can text them directly. People are super upfront about what they are looking for (sex, relationship, or otherwise). Join us and find yourself a femboi for life or a sex toy for tonight.
Removed by mod
Way less creeps and fakes than straight Tinder…
