• Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
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    7 months ago

    There absolutely are intrusive thoughts. Two examples:

    Once in a long while, I’ll be talking to a black person and I’ll think of the N-word. It will just pop into my head for a split second and I’ll think “oh my god, no!” and it will be gone. I’ve never said that word out loud, I’ve never thought of anyone black that way, and I certainly don’t want to think of anyone that way. It’s not a thought I meant to have or even a thought that would ever represent how I felt. It isn’t even a thought that is pointed with malice at the person I was talking to. It’s literally just “N-word” and it’s gone. It’s purely unconscious and intrusive racism that I think is just part of being white.

    Every so often, I’ll be talking to a couple I know and imagine them fucking. Just for a split second again. I don’t want to imagine them fucking. It’s not titillating to me. I don’t get a rise out of it. I don’t fantasize about it later. But just for a moment, I imagine what it would be like if my perceptive versions of them fucked. We won’t even be talking about anything remotely sexual. But sex is part of the human condition and sometimes we have unconscious, intrusive thoughts about sex.

    I don’t think either of these will lead me to murder. In fact, in general, I don’t have violent thoughts, not even intrusive ones. But it could lead me to other atrocious behavior if I dwell on those thoughts and if I let them become more than momentarily intrusive. It’s not being afraid of thinking them, it’s not wanting to think of them and doing my best to will any such thoughts that stray out of my head as quickly as I can. Because those thoughts are not thoughts I want to have about people. I don’t care if I don’t act on them either. I don’t want to think that about any black people I ever encounter in my life. I don’t want to think that about any couples who I know. But sometimes those thoughts just pop into my head and I can’t help it. But I can help moving past them as fast as I possibly can so they don’t end up accumulating and turning me into a person I don’t want to be.

    • feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      It’s not part of being white anymore than dropping a baby out of a window. It’s just your brain telling you what not to do, because you know not to use that term, on account of it being rude and offensive.

      It’s such a taboo term that you’d literally never say it, it’s more like internal Tourettes. I suspect this type of intrusive thought is least vaguely related to the phenomenon of cute aggression. Like, intrusive thoughts of The Thing You Absolutely Must Not Do.

      It’s sad that you would assume you have some essential racist nature - I don’t know you, but being born white is not a form of original sin, it’s an arbitrary identity category and you’re most likely a decent person.

    • LemmysMum@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      That’s called having a normal and functioning think box, comes will all the usual bits of imagination just like every other human.

        • LemmysMum@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          We don’t always get what we want, that’s life. It’s how you handle the things you don’t control that defines you.

          • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
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            7 months ago

            What does that have to do with what I said or your claim that there are no such things as intrusive thoughts?

            • LemmysMum@lemmy.world
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              7 months ago

              How you handle intrusive thoughts is no different to handling any other thought you have, wanted or unwanted, good or bad, if you are going to get it anyway and you can’t change the fact they exist how does defining them otherwise in the context of understanding how to not let them affect you provide any benefit?

              I would argue that my way of thinking must be correct for this task because I am obviously not afflicted in the same way by my thoughts that I feel I need to define the bad subconscious ones as ‘intrusive’. They haven’t intruded on my consciousness, my consciousness found them.

              It’s a perspective that removes a significant amount of emotional power from ‘intrusive thoughts’.

              • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
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                7 months ago

                I think you need to make up your mind whether intrusive thoughts are a thing or not, because you start your post with talking about how to handle intrusive thoughts, then you go on to say they aren’t a thing.

                It’s a perspective that doesn’t make sense is what it is.

                  • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
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                    7 months ago

                    You in the beginning:

                    I’m sorry if this sounds callous but I utterly disregard your notion with predjudice.

                    They aren’t intrusive thoughts, they’re just your thoughts, stop being afraid of thinking.

                    You one post ago:

                    I would argue that my way of thinking must be correct for this task because I am obviously not afflicted in the same way by my thoughts that I feel I need to define the bad subconscious ones as ‘intrusive’. They haven’t intruded on my consciousness, my consciousness found them.

                    You this post:

                    Intrusive thoughts are real

                    Again- make up your mind.