Hi folks, I thought I’d create some content and share some experience and learning around any concerns I had about being childfree in my first 10 years after my tubal. I hope this can help those that are at this stage now.

I will say that 35 years after my tubal, I realized in retrospect, somewhere during that time, that I knew in my teens I didn’t want kids. I did go through a period, soon after my tubal at 24, of about 10 years where a lot of my friends tried to pressure me into either spending a ton of time with their kids or even adopt, where I wondered if I really wanted kids cuz I liked babies under 6 months of age. It wasn’t until I got close to someone and her newborn, where I spent plenty of time with her kid over the next 3 years and she was TOTALLY accepting of my decision and NEVER pushed an agenda. I finally realized I truly lost interest in the kid after about 6 months of age and knew I wasn’t interested, not because I was pushing back against acquaintances who were pushing their own agenda in opposition to mine, but because I JUST LOST INTEREST. It took a good, secure in their parenthood, friend to let me understand there was zero interest on my part.

As it turns out what I like about babies was the oxytocin hit from carrying them around, which I learned I could get from cats and small dogs, of which I have 2 now, and they stay small forever instead of just 6 months!

  • Mohkia@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Thank you for sharing your story! I have known i did not want kids since I was 14. I am 44 now and I don’t regret it at all. My mom left me with my sister when she was a baby and I hated it. I didn’t hate my sister I just was not and am still not comfortable with babies.I am the opposite as I do not and never did get that oxytocin feeling from babies. I am okay with toddlers and am much better with older kids but babies are a no go for me.

    Either way, I can barely look after myself, I don’t need to bring another being into this world to suffer along side me. I respect and am happy for the people in my life that have started families but also confident and happy with my choice not too.

    I am glad that people are becoming more accepting of peoples choices in this matter as I was really getting tired of the oh you will change your mind when you are older speech. I’m older now, still haven’t changed my mind.

    Enjoy you pets! They need loving homes too!