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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 26th, 2023

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  • I keep all my old photos, every once in a while I’ll be talking to someone about things and decide I want to see a chronically depressed cadaver go through the motions of… I don’t even really know what… just tons of pictures.

    I got pictures of me blackout drunk staring disdainfully in a mirror, pictures of me trying to feign happiness in hundreds of locations at Disney World, pictures documenting the all day drinking and running through the woods at full bore on a 4 wheeler hoping I’d just smash my skull into a tree and die, the daily fire I would make when it was too dark to keep driving drunk through the woods and spend my nights getting more drunk hoping I’d pass out and get killed by wolves.

    Sure, If it was life or death I could find a smile or a happy photo, but almost all of them are stoic at best and I’m going to keep them.

    That poor fuck held on for something, and in his misery he gave me a life worth living, and for that he deserves his respect and honors. I cannot hate him or erase him. He hurt for so long, he wanted an undying death, and I myself gave him his wish.

    Of course, you should do what is best for you, I just have been diving a bit too far into how the Ship of Theseus problem intersects with my identity and personality here lately and have decided I literally AM a different person and that’s okay and consistent with me being the same person I always was, just with less repression.