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Cake day: July 4th, 2023

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  • The analogy isn’t a good fit.

    When you sum up the entire concept of a relationship with another person as being equivalent to eating 1 skittle, you will just end up alienating men and further polarizing.

    The analogy is simply just not a good one. It completely misses what matters.

    The skittle analogy is a great example of one that tries to sound smart but when you analyze it, it fails under scrutiny.

    It’s easy to just “not bother” with eating a skittle, it’s just a skittle.

    But relationships aren’t a bowl of skittles at a party you can just shrug your shoulder and go “no thanks” too. There’s other food than skittles, and Skittles aren’t even very nutritionally sound.

    A better analogy would be something like:

    You live in a giant castle where there is an eternal feast enjoyed by all. However, one item at this feast is poisoned and will cause you extreme unpredictable harm if consumed. This is the only good food available though, your only other option is to live off an extremely flavorless gruel that is gaurenteed not poisoned, as if you leave the castle, you die. Thankfully though if you make friends with the other people in the castle, you can gain some insight on what foods tend to be poisoned vs not, but it’s not perfect. Many people also remark the food is the greatest they have ever eaten, and they enjoy their meal safely each day… Do you choose to risk the very small chance of harm, or do you choose to starve?

    That is a closer analogy to the actual situation, and suddenly the answer is no longer so black and white. Skittles are not an apt comparison to a relationship, because a relationship is deeply coveted and desired by most people. People in history have killed and gone to war over relationships.

    No one has ever burnt a city to the ground over a skittle.


  • I knpw what the analogy means, it’s exactly what I addressed above.

    The analogy implies women only interact with men akin to a bowl of skittles at a party. They never meet them at work, they have no friends who know some they cab recommend, they literally only interact with the “bowl of skittles” in a discrete moment and must make their assessment explicitly and directly on dedicated time.

    Which is a very incel way of thinking relationships work.

    In reality the “bowl of skittles” is pretty much constantly being observable anytime you step outside the house, in fact it’s pretty much impossible to not be swimming around in the bowl of Skittles anytime you step outside the house.

    You don’t have to specifically dedicate time to sit and study a skittle.

    Furthermore the “studying a skittle” time is made out to be a labour intensive, solitary, strenuous activity in the analogy.

    In reality we call that a date and most sane people consider such things to be quite fun and engaging, and in fact are often considered to be the best times of their life.

    So to take something as fun and interesting as “going on a date with a potential partner” and turn it into “studying and dissecting a skittle”, signals pretty big incel terminally online energy.

    It’s what makes the person talking about it sound bitter and lonely, and like they’ve never actually gone out on a real date. Normal sane people in real life dont view dating like that.




  • But they also know that 99% of rapists are men, and 91% of victims are women, that added to the aforementioned 1 in 6~ women that will have been raped in their lifetime means they are gambling just being alone with a man.

    1 in 6 sexually assaulted, not raped, to start. Which is still way too high but don’t get it twisted.

    Second, these 2 numbers actually have no functional relation to the odds of a random man being a rapist.

    If you have 1000 people (500/500 men/women) and 1 of them is a rapist, and a man, you could say “100% of the rapists in this group are men”

    Which is true, but what you actually care about is, in that case, only 1/500 of men in that crowd are a rapist.

    As for the 1/6 women are assaulted, it’s a similiar issue.

    If that 1 man proceeds to rape 50 women, you now could say (and be totally correct) that:

    • 100% of the crowds rapists are men
    • 100% of the victims were women
    • 1 in 10 women got raped

    But all of that actually is missing the fact that in reality, if one of those women picked a man at random to be alone with, it’d only be a 1 in 500 chance she got the rapist.

    Now. These are obviously hyperbole facts to demonstrate the mathematical hole.

    Let’s find out the actual number then…

    David Lisak’s research probably gives us the best estimate at around 1 in 16. Which is still quite high, but it is also very far away from numbers like “91%” or “1 in 6”

    So now you’re looking at a 1 in 16 chance of a randomly selected man being sexually violent.

    This suddenly starts to demonstrate how the “I’d choose the bear” statement comes across as sexist.

    Because choosing a bear signals a vastly hyperinflated representation of the risk of a man.

    This is, indeed, sexist. You’re taking the actions of a small minority of men and casting their actions over the average.

    That, my friend, is textbook bigotry.

    The reality is the vast vast majority of men (~94%) aren’t sexually violent and perfectly normal people who would be helpful and good to have around for survival.

    If you seriously don’t see casting the 6%'s actions as a negative generalization on the other 94% as sexist, then I think you gotta go reflect on that for a bit.


  • What you are continuing to fail at is that I get the point.

    I’m saying that the point is being conveyed atop a sexist mechanism

    You might find this wild, but a cry fir help can simultaneously be sexist. The two aren’t mutually exclusive.

    You are arguing about what is being conveyed on the mechanism.

    I am arguing the mechanism being used itself is a shitty one

    Things can be more than one thing at the same time, which is tough for some people to understand I guess.

    If you continue to keep trying to argue that a sexist post being a “cry for help” somehow nullifies it’s sexism, then you will continue to make zero progress here and, more importantly, you’ll continue to keep being part of the problem



  • All that typing but you wouldn’t write it.

    Deep down inside you know it’s a sexist statement, but you’ll twist yourself into a pretzel trying to justify it.

    It’s sexist, get over it and just admit it. It’s a shitty thing to say.

    Fear is fear, you can’t pretend justifying sexism with fear is any better or worse than justifying racism with fear or justifying any other type of bigotry with fear.

    If some TERF shithead posted “I’d feel safer alone in the woods with a bear than with a trans woman in the bathroom” or some shit you know how bad that would be.

    You have to sit and look in the mirror and confront the fact that you think sexism directed towards men “doesn’t count”.

    It does. And until the general public wraps their heads around what should be a very simple concept, shitheads like Trump are going to keep getting elected by reactionaries


  • No, I know what it is. Hyperbole when taken too far is just a fancy way to dress up sexism/racism.

    The litmus test here is so easy.

    Replace “man” with “black man” and repeat the phrase, tell me if it’s still something you’d say out loud amongst friends or not.

    Suddenly doesn’t sound so paletteble does it? Maybe sounds kinda racist?

    Literally anytime you wanna try and argue if a phrase maybe is problematic, and you wanna try and argue that because the subject is “men” makes it lt count, just change it to “black men” and double check it didn’t suddenly become super fuckin racist sounding.

    If it did, it always was sexist.


  • No.

    I get the point, I have always gotten the point.

    My point is it’s a stupid sounding way to try and make the point, because it doesn’t actually translate well.

    Instead you just sound like a naive inexperienced idiot and make yourself look bad.

    You either come across as so hyperbolic you just sound sexist, or, you sound like a naive idiot.

    Let me demonstrate for you.

    If soneone told you given the choice of being alone in the woods with a black man or a bear, they’d feel safer with a bear, how does that sound now?

    Do you still think that sounds “hyperbolic”, or do you maybe now see how fucked up and stupid it makes you sound?

    That’s how women who genuinely say that shit sound.


  • It’s a stupid hyperbole that just says “I’ve never actually seen a bear up close”

    It makes women sound stupid and naive, any woman who has actually encountered a bear up close will go “fuck no, a bear will fuck you up”

    Bears will literally tear your limbs off just cuz, with little effort. You are nothing more than a ragdoll to them. They have thousands of pounds on you, and they can run twice as fast as you.

    No person who actually knows wtf a bear us like would ever choose the bear.

    The hyperbole instead just sends a message of “women are stupid” which shouldn’t be true, I would hope the average woman is smart enough to know that while being alone with a man is risky, a fucking bear is still way way worse.



  • They are actually referencing a genuine fear many of them have being alone around men.

    It still makes you sound stupid, tbh, when you admit you haven’t a clue how much more threatening a fucking bear is.

    A man, no matter how scary, isn’t going to tear your fucking arms off with one hand lol

    It demonstrates a degree of naivety that you truly have never actually seen a bear in person.

    It just makes the person sound stupid.

    At least pick an animal that is less of an instant threat. Like a cougar.

    A bear will literally reduce you to multiple pieces without a second thought, and with barely any effort. It’s a bear


  • Bernie has a lot more energy than Trump and Biden combined, tbh.

    He doesnt get support because he actually supports the working class. The fundamental thing us left folks have to accept is the democratic party simply isnt a left wing party. The left doesnt exist anymore in the US.

    The parties are right wing conservatives called Democrats vs fascist psychopaths that call themselves Conservatives.

    The reality simply is that the left is the right, and the right isnt even on the chart anymore. The actual left doesnt even have representation at this point.

    Voters have to start getting a lot louder about this, in more obnoxious ways. Protesting has to happen, at minimum.



  • Any woman who says “the bear” honestly, I have to assume" has never once actually encountered a bear in the woods.

    Prolly has had extremely few encounters with anything in the woods.

    People hang out on trails all the time, and are alone with another stranger on the trails extremely often, and the extremely vast majority of those interactions are overwhelming positive in all configurations. The vast majority of humans are helpful at worst, for all genders.

    People like to help other people out.

    Yes, I would vastly prefer to encounter a gun toting right wing MAGA nut on the trail than a fucking bear, thats not even a hard question to answer, its a fucking bear.

    Im left wing by a long shot but I still know that even the average right wing MAGA nut is actually prolly still gonna be, on average, helpful and/or friendly, or maybe just cold and indifferent towards me, out in the wilderness.

    Hell I’d actually honestly say this scenario is one of the few times I’d choose a MAGA right wing nut over a fellow left leaning fellow.

    I love my fellow liberals but I also have to acknowledge the vast majority of us are city slickers, many many of which prolly couldnt even start a fire if their life depended on it (cuz its just not a thing that matters in the city)

    Meanwhile the odds the random selected MAGA right wing gun nut prolly shows up with hunting equipment and knows how to do shit like make a lean to and skin a rabbit.

    If I got to pick between the two, I’d choose the gun nut cuz Id rather risk surviving with a gun nut than dying with a fellow city slicker, love yeah all but like, we aint fuckin surviving in the woods long, thats just a fact lol.

    Edit:

    If you seriously think this sort of statement is okay to make, I dare you to replace “man” with “black man” and go post it to prove how it’s totally not a bigoted statement

    Cuz any argument you try and make about “man” in this statement should hold water even if you change it to “black man” without suddenly sounding super fuckin racist.


  • Are you saying that theres >42% chance a bear will be on your side in the wilderness then?

    That makes no sense. By all arguments taking “a man” is prolly the far better choice anyways, people are just stupid.

    There’s a 100% chance that “the bear” is a fucking bear

    Theres at least a decent chance “a random man” is an asset to survival and your odds of success go up instead of down…

    There’s no scenario where choosing “the bear” improves your odds of success >_>;