Also known as snooggums on midwest.social and kbin.social.

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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 2nd, 2023

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  • As part of our push to retain work from home after covid I pointed out that my cost savings per year between time (at overtime rates), food, and transportation was $10,000 dollars and all they needed to provide was an extra power block and mouse+keyboard. They had already given me an unintentional raise, and I wanted to keep some of it.

    Ended up hybrid which works out great since there are some people that need to communicate in person, but two days a week meets that need and the other three days I can be productive on other stuff and with people who can communicate remotely.

    People shouldn’t take a pay cut to work remote, they should treat it as a benefit that doesn’t need to be part of their paycheck.




  • But if it inconveniences my life, then it bothers me

    That’s fine. It only becomes a negative when you react to it in a way that is a detriment to others.

    I care about other people in various levels but there was one person who had made my life miserable for reasons that weren’t really their fault for months and I was happy when they died because it was a benefit for me. It wasn’t even their fault, but not knowing them means that while I can have empathy for their situation, that doesn’t mean I needed to suffer. I’ve also been extremely sad when someone died, even through it had a negative impact on me, because I enjoyed interacting with them a few times.

    But I’ve also put my life at risk to help other people in dangerous situations even if I didn’t know or care about them because sometimes humans have to help humans. I’ve also avoided being involved when someone else was clearly better able to handle the situation.

    If you always think about yourself, but it isn’t harming anyone else, that’s fine! We all have different levels of caring about others, which can include zero, without being broken or a bad person. What we do is what matters.


  • You aren’t broken if you are just becoming aware of how you feel. People can feel love for one or many people, pets, and other things and if someone can only love one person then someone can love no one.

    Being aware that you are looking at things selfishly* doesn’t mean you need to change necessarily if you still have good relationships. Those and future relationships might improve if you start to conciously think about putting others first or how others might feel differently from you. Or they might not, hard to know.

    As long as you don’t think you are superior or that others are beneath you it doesn’t matter whether you love them or not. I don’t love strangers, but unless I know they are terrible people I still treat them with respect and assume they have things going on in their lives that might make them happy or sad. This tends to improve interactions with strangers because it means I don’t let small things they do bother me, even though I don’t really have feelings about them one way or the other.

    *Thinking selfishly is fine as long as it dpesn’t lead to something that negatively impacts others for your benefit. We shouldn’t always put others before our self and we shouldn’t always put our self before others. Somewhere in the middle.