• irmoz@reddthat.com
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    1 year ago

    Haha yes, good joke, by the way, have you seen these new fangled automobiles? They’ll never replace the good old fashioned horse and carriage. I also hear some Austrian dickhead is making moves in Germany - hope it doesn’t spark another war. Anyway, I’m off to beat my wife and suppress my emotions, because it’s apparently 1920.

    • demlet@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Oh, be fair, lots of men still beat their wives and suppress their emotions.

      • irmoz@reddthat.com
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        1 year ago

        Tru tru, likely cos they wanna harken to a century ago when it was practically the law

        • demlet@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Well, some probably. But also, humans are often violent. It’s pretty hardwired in. And some men are wired to be more violent than others unfortunately. That’s before we even get into cycles of abuse and all that environmental stuff. Like, the 1920s were three generations ago. Not excusing them at all, but lots of men are dealing with generational trauma that easily goes back further than that.

          • queermunist@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            As a trans woman who spent a lot of her life as a violent man, I have some perspective on this.

            The tendency to blow up and hit things? Those are panic attacks. Men don’t like to think of themselves as having sissy emotional problems and so they just try to stubbornly power through their panic by yelling and hitting things, but like, a good cry really fucking helps you know? Meds too! Take a break, get some fresh air, take some deep breaths, fix your makeup, it’s going to be okay. No need to break shit.

            • demlet@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              That’s a really great observation. I’ve had a couple mild panic attacks and I could see how someone could lash out if they didn’t understand what they were experiencing.

          • irmoz@reddthat.com
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            1 year ago

            Excuses. Trauma can cause aberrant behaviour, true, but unless your moral center is corrupted by toxic beliefs, you will recognise those behaviours as wrong and feel bad about it. The types of people who think the dynamic pictured in the OP are standard have either been raised with or have discovered and adopted an ideology of patriarchy, that presents such “wife bad” mentality as morally good.

            So yes, you may have anger issues or problems with violence because of trauma, but you will still feel remorse because you now it’s wrong. Or, on the other hand, you may simply believe that such violence and domination is the natural social order and thus be a toxic scumbag.

            • demlet@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              The toxic beliefs that are taught are part of the trauma. Certainly not an excuse, no, but good to be aware of if we want to help people break the cycle.

              As far as the whole “sleep on the couch” thing, I don’t tend to think grown adults should be telling one another where they’re allowed to sleep just because one of them is upset, but that’s a different topic.

              • irmoz@reddthat.com
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                1 year ago

                The toxic beliefs that are taught are part of the trauma.

                Sorry i punched you in the face, i thought it was okay because daddy did it

  • pizzahoe@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    stupid question but I’ve seen in American tv shows that the wife asks the husband to sleep on the couch when she’s not happy with him… is that a stereotype or does it really happen?

    • Moc@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 year ago

      I’m Australian, but my fiancé and I tend to do the inverse. Whoever is angry sleeps on the couch.

      It’s a much better system, because it incentivises trying to solve the problem

    • TheDoctorDonna@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Canadian confirming that the angry party leaves the bed. Usually me because I need time to think it through, get pissy and maybe a little childish, get over being pissy and childish and then go talk about it once I’ve realized how I was probably wrong or have come up with a way that accurately describes how I was wronged and why that makes me angry or sad. My husband is also the type that needs to think it out before talking so it works, unfortunately his process is way slower than mine.

      I don’t know if it is a healthy way of dealing but it works for both of us and neither of us had healthy examples of any relationship in our lives so we take what we can get

    • Tristan@lemmy.ca
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      1 year ago

      Canadian here. The upset person sleeps on the couch. Rarely happens because our couch isn’t comfortable lol.

    • Mangoholic@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      Happenens to me when i win the argument. This is not mysogony but reality. Ofc not all woman are like that.

  • chic_luke@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Well, this is my first 30 minutes on Lemmy as a Reddit refugee and this is a primer of the content quality I see. Very encouraging.

    Besides, the problem with these boomer-y posts is that, in a relationship, it should be you two vs. the problem, not one against the other. In the latter case, the relationship doesn’t work.

  • Luminocta @lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    It’s a joke, it’s harmless… Why are so many people so mad about this?

  • demlet@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    This looks cozy. I might just cause an argument to be able to do it. Oh wait, I’m single, I can already do it. Oh wait, I live in an apartment.