Everything I do seems to be complete useless, stupid and just agonizingly boring. I usually really like my work. Learning Programming languages, solving Problems, and enjoying the small rush when something finally works like you intended. But now? Everything sucks. I know that it’s just a down-phase, but this does not help me at all. And I fucking hate myself so much that I can’t just be like “Yeah it’s a bad day, but I still manage to get my shit done.” Why can’t I be “normal”?

  • huginnEnglish
    6·
    11 hours ago

    Here’s a different framing that might help:

    Diabetics are normal people who happen to have a chemical deficiency that requires constant monitoring and chemical intervention. Some days diabetics will struggle to participate in society at all because of sugar level management.

    You’re an emotional diabetic, just like me. I’ve got my emotional insulin tuned pretty well but there are still days where I struggle to find the willpower.

    Give yourself the space and the grace to have down times, especially since you know during up times you’ll enjoy what you do. See if there’s any self care you can do to make the down times less bad.

    Good luck brother/sister.

  • makeitwonderful@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
    2·
    8 hours ago

    If you knew someone else was having the same experience as you, would you feel hate for them when they’re not able to get their shit done? If the answer is no then maybe knowing that can help relieve some of the self hate you’re feeling over your circumstances.

    I suspect you may even feel inclined to provide empathy and support for the person having the same experiences as you. If that’s true, then you know people having your experience deserve empathy and support. You’re one of the people having those experiences so you’re deserving of the same as others!

  • Moritz Bergmann@chaos.social
    41·
    14 hours ago

    @Roflmasterbigpimp well, I am not experienced in helping depressed people, but my naive idea would be, that you might be better if you try to program sth. That could give you a Sense of achievement.
    I really enjoined doing advent of code last year, because you have easy but still challenging code puzzles and it has the social aspect of comparing and exchanging ideas with your friends, which is really fun.
    If I missed the point of your sadness, maybe just know, that your friends are there for you