My daughter is 5 now. She’s discovered the joy of telling jokes. Unfortunately, her repertoire is painfully small. I’ve also realised most of my jokes are either not age appropriate or too situational.
What are best/worst kids jokes? Extra points for any that would make her teacher groan. Apparently she LOVES jokes. 😁
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A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff.
Bah-dum-tsss.
whats long, brown, and sticky? a stick.
what’s long, blue, and sticky? a blue stick.
ive found kids live this due to the misdirection and then doubling down on it.
Two nuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.
My kiddo loved that around her age.
lmao
I don’t get it
Nuts often are salted. A salted, assaulted.
That does not sound very age appropriate
What’s inappropriate about a salted nut?
It’s offensive to people with hypernatremia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypernatremia
Hypernatremia is a high concentration of sodium in the blood for people who nut often.
Symptoms include weak knees, sore arms, and a salty taste in the mouth.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and you’ll find out!
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
Because it didn’t have any body to go with
There’s a dad jokes lemmy!
dadjokes@lemmy.world
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
The interruptive cow
The interrup-
MOOOOOO
Why’d the cookie go to the hospital?
He was feeling crummy!
What’d the envelope say to the stamp?
Stick with me, kid, we’ll go places.
A big hole was dug at the police station. They’re currently looking into it.
Why do firefighters wear red suspenders? Keeps their pants up.
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Cause his mommy got stuck in a jam.
Yes, let’s get the kid started with dark humor.
It was either that or a washing machine.
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
5yo love gross humor
They definitely do!
Guess what? Chicken butt.
I have some sense of self preservation. She’s bad enough right now calling everyone a banana!
I would suggest a book of jokes specifically for kids. Like this one.
It’s free on Kindle Unlimited. You don’t even have to let your daughter know that you’re getting them from a book.
Assuming Kindle Unlimited is a paid service, the book isn’t free.
everything is free if you know where to look for it 🏴☠️
OMG! You’re technically correct but added nothing to the conversation! Congratulations!
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who?
You’re making a good owl!
My parents told me this was my favorite joke when I was around your daughter’s age. Apparently I used the joke non-stop and my parents still laughed every time because of how much I cracked up at my own joke.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh
What do you call a fly with no legs? A walk
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea
shouldn’t that be a fly with no wings ?
Love the deer ones lol
Did you know that the US government keeps and provides access to a database of dad jokes on fatherhood.gov, one joke at a time?
You could also snag this full dad jokes database from kaggle which contains over 13k dad jokes.
Hope you both enjoy!
Leave it up to lemmy to provide the link for government approved dad jokes…
Liberals… always going back to the governments teet.
I agree. This is definitely an ideal context to talk about politics.
I like make my own jokes homegrown on the range using, cough, tax-subsidised water…
Ty
