I found I couldn’t do it. I have a set of traumas that means I go into a weird fugue state where I massively undercharge by an order of magnitude and take on every liability. I think it’s some sort of rejection dissociation thingy, or like just trying to end the situation as quickly as possible. This meant I had made very little money and promised a lot, and also came to hate my hobby.

Now that I have a job, the stakes are much lower, I get regular pay, and I also pretty much never have to negotiate directly with clients.

It took a really long time to get that job though, given that job searching also requires skills I do not have