Honestly “differently-abled” seems more like a media term than anything linked to either handicapped communities or scientific research. Imho it’s kinda stupid.

And people speaking on behalf of marginalized communities is a real issue that does a lot of harm. e.g. Autism Speaks

An expression I encountered helping my roommate work on their education master was “handicapping situations”. It’s a bit unwieldy but I like that it conveys that someone is handicapped by a combination of an ailment, an activity, and a lack of accessibility.

In other words, someone who’s paraplegic isn’t in a “handicapping situation” when gaming in a chair.

Or someone who’s dysorthographic isn’t handicapped as long as their not trying to write anything.

I use handicapped as a shorthand for myself but it’s still a neat concept imho.

I might be mistranslating some stuff since said roommate is French.

PS: about the dance, blame it on people insisting on using our disabilities as insults.

PS2: You’re always gonna hurt someone at one point or another. But it’s not hard to try not to and apologize when it happens imho.