Today as me and my SO were coming home from a morning walk, I felt a fart coming through. As they were unlocking the door, I stood there, letting the fart slowly make it’s way out.
Feeling the fart nearing it’s destination, i started contemplating going all the way and just going to the bathroom. Finally, the fart leaves me, the noisy street and the distance between us was enough to ensure my stealth.
Suddenly I notice that my SO is looking at me with a slight giggle.
“Whats funny?” I ask, fearing that I overestimated my stealthiness.
“I know what you are thinking right now.” They reply with a giggle.
I slightly freak out not knowing what they think I’m thinking, because in my head I had no thoughts that were related to us right now.
“What do you mean?” I ask, slightly scared
“You are figuring out if you need to poop, right?”
“What?? How TF can they know that??” I ask myself as I get flustered and confused.
Eventually they tell me that I have a “Contemplating Poop” face and that they always know if I’m considering taking a dump.
Anyway…
Had a woman I met at a bar asked me what I would do if she ripped one. Paraphrasing, it’s been 20-years, “Laugh my ass off if you straight owned it!”
She also asked my opinion on abortion. Paused a moment, and paraphrasing again, “Not my business. I’m a man.” “RIGHT ANSWER!”
She was fun to date a few times, but kids, nurses can be very strange!