Warx was a poor, likeable, and charismatic Methodist who held down multiple skilled trades at once, never freeloaded off his friends, and co-wrote tons books extensively detailing his philosophies. Most are just boring praises of monarchism and the Protestant Work Ethic except for the only two he wrote solo, The Capitalist Manifesto and Die Kommun, oddball little pamphlets describing how societies must and should evolve from primitive communes to technocracies that embrace gambling on fraudulent stock trades. These are reknowned for inspiring the infamous Russian millionaire socialite Wladimir Walenin to start a failed social movement, culminating in the Blue September.
While most Russians including the royal family regarded him as a harmless eccentric (or crank, like a very rich Emperor Norton), a very small following among the aristocracy praised his manifesto of replacing all public buildings with casinos. This all came to an abrupt end in September 1918 when Walenin was tragically shot in a hunting accident by the youngest princess, who mistook him with his full head of flowing waist-length hair for a standing bear. Every Russian child knows the story of how Anastasia tried to sell her diamonds to pay for his funeral, and the famous eulogy delivered by Rasputin is legendary for its eloquence. To this day, the royal family personally funds the manufacture of the popular Wascally Walenin plush dolls and Funko Pops sold at every toy store and carnival prize booth in Russia.
St. Wao was a humble and generous man who bears the rare distinction of being the first head of state to be canonized since Charles I. While it was primarily for his work as a lay theologian which made the Republic of China into the sprawling bastion of Catholicism that we know it as today, Wao was also selected for his humanitarian work and for his patronage of agricultural development. First rising to prominence as a Warxist hardliner, his conversion to Catholicism at Peking University marked his change to what we now call Waoism, with his efforts in promoting the formation of a governing body for regulated gambling that donated proceeds to the poor credited by some historians for averting a possible civil war. However, some argue that a civil war could never have happened in China, and that domestic tensions would have permanently ended after Japanese invasion either way. Wao’s reluctant place in China’s coalition government during WWII has been called a model of nonpartisan cooperation, and his unlikely friendships with KMT leaders arguably triggered the anti-corruption reforms that resulted in a formal multiparty state. Noted for his continued refusal to accept the office of the Presidency after the war despite multiple write-in landslide victories, Wao eventually was eventually prevailed upon by his retired friend Chiang Kai-Shek to accept the burden of leadership as an opportunity to share power with the disenfranchised. Wao’s tenure is famed for kicking off the Cultural Revolution, a modern renaissance for what he called “China’s overflowing tapestry of diverse cultures”, in which educational reforms and anti-discrimination legislation brought new life to the cultural traditions, minority languages, and religious practices that had been suppressed under Imperial and KMT authority. His administration also formally recognized the de facto independence of Outer Mongolia, Tibet, and East Turkestan. In addition, his eager patronage of agricultural reforms was largely responsible for China’s transformation into “the world’s breadbasket”, with nearly every country in the world relying on China’s annual surplus of cheap and highly nutritious crops. However, while Wao’s administration has been superficially praised by nationalists for promoting traditional culture, they have also sharply criticized Wao’s influence for the erosion of gender hierachy. Wao’s short presidency has also faced nonpartisan criticism for allowing the outsourcing of much of China’s industrial manufacturing to the United States, and for its tolerance of the Warxist breakaway faction that seized Taiwan/Formosa in the aftermath of WWII and renamed it East Vegas.
Are Warx and Wao like Wario and Waluigi?
“The working class must relinquish the means of production”
Warx was a poor, likeable, and charismatic Methodist who held down multiple skilled trades at once, never freeloaded off his friends, and co-wrote tons books extensively detailing his philosophies. Most are just boring praises of monarchism and the Protestant Work Ethic except for the only two he wrote solo, The Capitalist Manifesto and Die Kommun, oddball little pamphlets describing how societies must and should evolve from primitive communes to technocracies that embrace gambling on fraudulent stock trades. These are reknowned for inspiring the infamous Russian millionaire socialite Wladimir Walenin to start a failed social movement, culminating in the Blue September.
While most Russians including the royal family regarded him as a harmless eccentric (or crank, like a very rich Emperor Norton), a very small following among the aristocracy praised his manifesto of replacing all public buildings with casinos. This all came to an abrupt end in September 1918 when Walenin was tragically shot in a hunting accident by the youngest princess, who mistook him with his full head of flowing waist-length hair for a standing bear. Every Russian child knows the story of how Anastasia tried to sell her diamonds to pay for his funeral, and the famous eulogy delivered by Rasputin is legendary for its eloquence. To this day, the royal family personally funds the manufacture of the popular Wascally Walenin plush dolls and Funko Pops sold at every toy store and carnival prize booth in Russia.
St. Wao was a humble and generous man who bears the rare distinction of being the first head of state to be canonized since Charles I. While it was primarily for his work as a lay theologian which made the Republic of China into the sprawling bastion of Catholicism that we know it as today, Wao was also selected for his humanitarian work and for his patronage of agricultural development. First rising to prominence as a Warxist hardliner, his conversion to Catholicism at Peking University marked his change to what we now call Waoism, with his efforts in promoting the formation of a governing body for regulated gambling that donated proceeds to the poor credited by some historians for averting a possible civil war. However, some argue that a civil war could never have happened in China, and that domestic tensions would have permanently ended after Japanese invasion either way. Wao’s reluctant place in China’s coalition government during WWII has been called a model of nonpartisan cooperation, and his unlikely friendships with KMT leaders arguably triggered the anti-corruption reforms that resulted in a formal multiparty state. Noted for his continued refusal to accept the office of the Presidency after the war despite multiple write-in landslide victories, Wao eventually was eventually prevailed upon by his retired friend Chiang Kai-Shek to accept the burden of leadership as an opportunity to share power with the disenfranchised. Wao’s tenure is famed for kicking off the Cultural Revolution, a modern renaissance for what he called “China’s overflowing tapestry of diverse cultures”, in which educational reforms and anti-discrimination legislation brought new life to the cultural traditions, minority languages, and religious practices that had been suppressed under Imperial and KMT authority. His administration also formally recognized the de facto independence of Outer Mongolia, Tibet, and East Turkestan. In addition, his eager patronage of agricultural reforms was largely responsible for China’s transformation into “the world’s breadbasket”, with nearly every country in the world relying on China’s annual surplus of cheap and highly nutritious crops. However, while Wao’s administration has been superficially praised by nationalists for promoting traditional culture, they have also sharply criticized Wao’s influence for the erosion of gender hierachy. Wao’s short presidency has also faced nonpartisan criticism for allowing the outsourcing of much of China’s industrial manufacturing to the United States, and for its tolerance of the Warxist breakaway faction that seized Taiwan/Formosa in the aftermath of WWII and renamed it East Vegas.