I will second this. After college I realized I needed to expand my social circle. I agonized for weeks about even asking to join a few local Meetup groups. Eventually I did, and I convinced myself to go to a few events. I started framing social outings as exercise. It wasn’t always fun, but I usually felt good about making myself go.
I still get anxious about social stuff. I still loath job interviews. I don’t like packed bars or events with thousands of people, but I can handle them better now. I can now give myself permission to fuck up a bit.
"Was that social encounter my best work? No.
Was I actually a jerk and everyone hates me now? Also no.
Cool then. A ‘C+’ is still passing!"
“What’s the worse that can happen (socially)?” is now a helpful question. “What if strangers think I’m weird?” IDK, then they do. That’s their problem. And if they remain strangers then I probably won’t need to deal with them again. If they think I’m weird and they still invite me back then at least my weirdness was within acceptable limits. And that’s how I met my wife :)
I will second this. After college I realized I needed to expand my social circle. I agonized for weeks about even asking to join a few local Meetup groups. Eventually I did, and I convinced myself to go to a few events. I started framing social outings as exercise. It wasn’t always fun, but I usually felt good about making myself go.
I still get anxious about social stuff. I still loath job interviews. I don’t like packed bars or events with thousands of people, but I can handle them better now. I can now give myself permission to fuck up a bit.
"Was that social encounter my best work? No.
Was I actually a jerk and everyone hates me now? Also no.
Cool then. A ‘C+’ is still passing!"
“What’s the worse that can happen (socially)?” is now a helpful question. “What if strangers think I’m weird?” IDK, then they do. That’s their problem. And if they remain strangers then I probably won’t need to deal with them again. If they think I’m weird and they still invite me back then at least my weirdness was within acceptable limits. And that’s how I met my wife :)