Everyone knows the communism button is a Rube Goldberg style machine that, when pressed, releases a slice of Swiss cheese in front of a rodent on a hamster wheel, whose spinning motion unravels a string holding back a marble that rolls down a tube to knock over a domino, which knocks over several more dominoes that ends up activating a model train set, which runs over the power button of a laser pointer, which makes a nearby housecat to swipe at the on/off switch of a fan, which blows a ping pong ball into a otherwise balanced scale, which holds a pair of scissors which rises to cut a string holding a bucket of water directly above the seat in the oval office, drenching [insert sitting US President] with water thus creating Communism

Have you even read Marx?