• restingboredface@sh.itjust.works
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    5 months ago

    I never understood this, as my grandparents were always grandma/grandpa, or granny (in my paternal granmothers case she preferred it).

    Then I moved to the south, and met my husband’s family and friends. Every single one of them had weird names for at least one of their grandparents. A lot of them called grandmother “meemaw” and my father in law is papaw to my neices and nephews.

    I took it as a cultural thing, but it still feels a bit strange to me.

    • TheSlad@sh.itjust.works
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      5 months ago

      I fucking hate meemaw/mamaw and papaw with a passion. Partly because me ex’s white-trash family uses them, but also they just sound stupid and I hate saying/hearing them

      • hazeebabee@slrpnk.net
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        5 months ago

        I get that your anger probably comes from the frustration of a bad relationship. I also want to encourage you not to use bigoted terms. Just refering to them as your ex’s family, or ex’s fucked up family would have gotten a similar message across.

        It really undermines your point, draws focus away from what youre trying communicate, & makes you look like a biased and unreliable narrator.

        I hope that ex is out of your life & you’re in a happier place now.

        • TheSlad@sh.itjust.works
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          5 months ago

          I thought it was dumb the first time I ever heard it.

          They are literally the picture perfect stereotype of white trash I call it like I see it.

          And no, we have two kids so she will never be out of my life. I am however in a happier place. Well actually the exact same place but now without her narcissistic gaslighting and constant put-downs :)

          • hazeebabee@slrpnk.net
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            5 months ago

            Ah co-parenting with an ex can be super tricky. It sounds like at least a half win though, you aren’t in the same house any more :) congrats on the break up, I know getting out of toxic relationships takes it’s toll

            & I get that the word is part of your vocabulary, I can’t change that, just encourage some reflection. It’s a term that’s been used against me so I’m perticularly sensitive to it. Here is a link to an article in case you or someone else is interested in the history of the term.

          • Sotuanduso@lemm.ee
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            5 months ago

            I’ve heard the term, but the only meaning for it I can think of is that they’re trash because they’re white.

            • TrousersMcPants@lemmy.world
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              5 months ago

              It’s actually kind of a fucked up term but a lot of people don’t consider it, it’s both super racist and classist. I don’t really think less of anyone for saying it because it’s such a common term but I personally don’t like using it. The original implication is that poor white folks are “trash”, comparing them to enslaved African Americans.

              • letsgo@lemm.ee
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                5 months ago

                I always read it as referring to people who are (a) white and (b) trash, without either adjective implying all A are B or vice versa. Like: I’ve got a red cup on my desk, but that doesn’t mean everything red is a cup or that all cups are red.

                • TrousersMcPants@lemmy.world
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                  5 months ago

                  The Wikipedia article even describes it very much like how I did. Like I said, I understand how people view it but the word at the least has very nasty roots

                  • garbagebagel@lemmy.world
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                    5 months ago

                    That was a fascinating wiki read. I’m not equating the two terms, but it definitely has its likeness with the n word in terms of etymology and white (specifically Anglo) supremacy.

                • Sotuanduso@lemm.ee
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                  5 months ago

                  You make a good point, but I don’t think that holds in the case of combining insults with people groups. Consider “jedi scum” or “filthy thieves” for example.

              • hazeebabee@slrpnk.net
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                5 months ago

                I also find it to be a derogatory, distasteful, and bigoted term. I definetly think less of people I hear who use it, & hope eventually it will be dropped from the cultural conciousness like other bigoted terms.

                It’s a way to police what “whiteness” should be, and is a term I’ve only ever heard from well off and judgemental people.

                • TrousersMcPants@lemmy.world
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                  5 months ago

                  I’ve heard a lot of poor folk use it too, it’s basically just a derogatory term for a redneck in the Midwest where I live. I don’t think a lot of people really understand it’s implications.

                  • hazeebabee@slrpnk.net
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                    5 months ago

                    That’s fair. It’s definetly one of those offensive terms people use without necessarily thinking about, like “getting gyped” or “pot calling the kettle black”.

                    Knowing is half the battle & raising awareness is half of activism lol

            • jaybone@lemmy.world
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              5 months ago

              The term usually refers to white people who are poor and uneducated, often live in rural areas. This is to group them with the traditional stereotypes of ethnic minorities who are stereotyped to share a similar socioeconomic status. And to separate them from the good respectable white people who have money and jobs and education.

              • Sotuanduso@lemm.ee
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                5 months ago

                Oh wow, that’s worse than I thought. Honestly, I was half expecting a “yeah, that’s what it is, but it’s actually okay because…”

    • jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works
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      5 months ago

      It’s definitely a cultural thing because I had the same experience. Although, It think it’s become more common to use different names for grandparents up north in recent years. My mom and dad, who have lived in Wisconsin their entire lives, are “Nana” and “Papa”. Growing up I don’t remember hearing anyone call their grandparents that.

    • TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      It’s wild down here. Thanks to a convoluted family tree due to adoption, divorce, and remarriage I had a total of 11 grandparents. Most of the men were Pawpaw <first name> to distinguish them except one who refused to be called anything except Grandfather and another we called pappy. Every one of the women had a different name loosely based on a mispronunciation of Granny.

    • Hadriscus@lemm.ee
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      5 months ago

      I met a kid once who called his grandma “bonne-maman”, lit. “good-mommy”

      • BakerBagel@midwest.social
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        5 months ago

        It was always gran for my English grandma and grandma for the American one in my house. “Grandpa” to the faces of both, but their names if they weren’t around. But it was always grandma or gran no matter if they were around or not