If they’re Mormons, just stop jumping on the bed.

They are legion. But also week af because “yell at them” is super effective.

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At least we still had some Angel left.

In my native land, we call it mole.

Is there something about search engines, as opposed to other online services, that makes you expect them to be free?

I hope this is a joke where you’re calling your two year old child “a guy you live with”.

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Congrats on your Nobel prize!

Up to a month, actually, which is far more time than I’ve ever devoted to a plan.

Guest starring 790 as C-3PO’s head

I wish I shared your optimism.

It wouldn’t look like anything, I suspect.

You would.

The vowel moves clockwise to the next corner of the vowel trapezium for each additional “e”.

The paper cuts were the best part.

the master archive

Now that’s dedication.

Golden shower

Jolly

Brits try human brains for first time!

Before the human begins to decompose, the essence of the pacemaker leaves its plastic housing (the “accidental properties” of the device) and goes to a realm outside of space and time to forever keep the pace of the Great Heart for which it was ultimately created. The human, meanwhile, is eaten by worms.