Nice of them though. I forced myself and it was not impossible since that’s what I have done every day until now. Some people seem to expect servants to help them. But we’re past slavery. I know how hard it is. But everyone has different challenges in life. Be happy that you are assisted with yours. Not many are.
Once I had to fill some forms for the gouvernement and I just went to their office and found a wonderfully helpful lady who helped me to do it and reassured me when I would freak out because their questions were not logical or not as closed as they thought. It was an eye opener and I’ve used the technique ever since.
Neurotypicals seem to suffer from the curse of knowledge far more than others. The worst part is, they’re neither aware of it, nor do they want to be aware of it.
They don’t realize how many assumptions they’re making about what you know, and that the information they’re assuming you have is the same information that they are working from.
For the uninitiated, the curse of knowledge is a concept where, by knowing the context of a thing, you understand it, but others do not because they don’t have the context of that thing. It’s a curse because the speaker with the curse of knowledge assumes that others have that context, often unaware that context needs to be provided for that thing to be understood.
The easiest demonstration of this I’ve seen is, try having someone guess a song by tapping it out on a table or something. More than 90% of the time they will not be able to guess what song you’re portraying because they lack the context. As soon as you mention the song, assuming the listener has heard the song before, they will be able to hear the association between your taps and the song, but not before being told.
This phenomenon happens a lot, and it’s the worst on government anything because often you are not provided any reference to look up what is intended for the question, form, information or whatever that you’re being asked to provide, you just need to provide it, but you lack the context to know what they even mean.
I refer to this as the corrollary to “you don’t know what you don’t know”, which is, “you don’t know what you know”.
That’s apt. I like it.
I would suggest that NT’s suffer from the curse of assumption and they’re unaware of it. It they read a question like we’re discussing they assume only one aspect of it. Whereas a non-NT like adhd would see multiple angles and answers to the question all at once and suffer the frustration of having to decipher what the asker really means - hence the au/adhd person’s need to over-explain an answer to be sure to corral the information specifically to the question they think is being asked.
Assumptions are the corner stone of the curse of knowledge.
NTs make a lot of assumptions about the listener and how they will understand something, because they always operate within a contextual box. They either don’t care, or don’t want to examine their statements from outside perspectives because their perspective is the only one that matters to them. That makes it sound worse than it is, but it’s accurate.
Neurodivergents generally spend a nontrivial amount of time trying to “fit in” with the NTs, often at the cost of their own mental well-being, but I digress. The majority of divergents have the skillset of understanding someone else’s point of view, since it’s a critical tool when building up a persona, aka masking.
I don’t care what anyone says, that’s a skillset, and it can be extremely useful. It’s often not used in a good, or productive way (looping back to the argument of masking being mentally burdensome here). As a tool, out can be used to great benefit, or great detriment, depending on how it’s used.
Ah the classic catch-22. Proving you have a disability, proves you are not disabled. Be glad though, it means you are not going to the farms.
It’s exhausting to be disabled
So draining it barely leaves energy for posting about it.
You must be an absolute hoot at parties…
And being able to fill out the form is considered by the government to be proof of a neurotypical mind.
Joseph Heller himself couldn’t have written it better.
catch 22
Oh, so it’s the witch hunting technique. If you drown, then you’re not a witch. If you don’t drown, we kill you.
I’ve lost out on probably more than $10k in grants and bursaries for my education because of this same problem.
It’s honestly so infuriating.
Just as an FYI, most states have programs that will fund a disability lawyer to assist you with your disability claim. Most of the time the lawyers will be paid partly through your claim if it is successful and it’s usually free if it is not.
Also do not get discouraged if your claim is initially denied, in my state it’s basically an open secret that your first claim gets automatically denied to discourage people from actually getting benefits. With disability, it’s all about persistence, documentation, and filing as soon as you can. Even if you get denied for years, when it is successful your claim will be back dated to the date of your initial filling.
Not a lawyer, but I work in a field where most all my patients are on disability, and I have had to help my parents file in an extremely conservative state.
Disability lawyers only get paid by a certain max percentage of the backpay after you win the case. There is no upfront cost to it. Try going for non profit lawyers as the others tend to just not give a fuck. In my experience at least.
most states
havehad programsSeems weird that they’re willing to pay for a lawyer to help you but not to pay their own employees to help you, which is why you need the lawyer.
It’s bullshit jobs all the way down.
I got my partner to fill it in for me. After all, they’re the ones suffering from it the most.
If you file for adhd and don’t complete the form, it should be granted.
Just think about what you’re saying and the abuse that system would suffer.
On the contrary to her question, what the fuck did she expect?
We’re all just indulging in some self-deprecating humor lmao. Not being serious!
So the system is working as intended.
I successfully submitted for a short term disability claim for an anxiety condition that arose from my ADHD. A few weeks later I was told that there wouldn’t be a role for me to return to once I was recovered. IE in an attempt to avoid a nasty law suit they aren’t firing me until I’m off short term disability.
Talk about setting up adverse conditions for recovery!
I’m pretty sure that could be used against them, especially if they told you in writing 🤔
That’s why unions are important
That’s exactly what they did to my wife last year.
Pretty much the equivalent of asking a paraplegic to prove their disability by running.
My guess is they expected a filled out form. But I see the Catch 22.
My guess is they hoped for what they got, so that they wouldn’t have to pay for any support.
Filling out the ADHD form proves you must not have ADHD. Also, not filling out the form proves you don’t have it.
Neither proves anything. Surprisingly, people are more complicated than memes.
Serious question: What exactly is the issue here? If you do not fill the form out, it gets rejected. Isn’t that the expected outcome?
The point is that ADHD is an executive function disorder. There’s a lot of inertia to overcome before starting a task for someone with this disorder. It’s not like she didn’t know it was urgent or important, that actually probably played right into why she couldn’t do it
That’s true. While executive functions require training in order to develop at all. And that starts at the bare bone basics.
If you are old enough to apply for disability stuff, you can find a way to get yourself to fill in the form. ADHD makes it hard to, not impossible.
And if you truly struggle, ask someone for accountability, or to help you fill it out. Even if it has to be a stranger online. ADHD people tend to be creative, thrill seeking, out-of-the-box thinking, fast-track minded people right? They procrastinate more than average, but crank out loads of work right before the deadline. Make it work in your favor, as decrepid as the disability may be. ADHD is an explanation, not an excuse.
OP already did reach out to someone for help. Thats what the disability claim is.
Do you see how requiring an extra step of “asking for help” to complete the paperwork to “ask for help” starts to be overly burdensome when it’s someone specifically asking for help with their executive disfunction?
It’s like requiring someone who doesn’t speak English to fill out a form in English to enroll in an ‘English as a second language’ class.
Which is why I suggested seeking help from someone to fill out the form.
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I am. I needed help and so asked friends and family for it. It took me 3/4 year longer to get my shit on track than it could have.
I hope she doesn’t have to cook dinner.
Why are you here?
If you are just going to post stupid, negative comments that don’t add to the conversation or is at least funny, then you shouldn’t be on Lemmy at all.
Add, don’t subtract. Try to at least pretend you are a grownup.
Why are you here?
Because it hit /all and ableists can’t help being assholes.
… Yeah, Uber eats is another way people with problems like this get taken advantage of. Weird that you feel the need to be snarky about it
She people are just assholes. And not the good kind.
I think the issue, although it’s being raised in meme-style rather than with a straightforward argument, is that asking somebody with ADHD to fill out a long, complex form is as reasonable as asking somebody on crutches to sashay up the stairs to the tenth floor to file their claim.
Peoples’ point is it’s basically like
“Ah yes, I see you claim you lost the use of your legs. That’s okay we’ve got you. Just ascend the 58 stairs to the main office to drop off your form and…”
This happened to my wife a decade or so ago. She has cerebral palsy and struggles to walk. We arrive at the examination center responsible for assessing her needs for continued social welfare. The exam office was on the 4th floor and the lift didn’t work. The building receptionist shrugged. We had to go through a lengthy appeal process after they claimed we never turned up for the appointment.
True of course, but ADHD can be associated with behaviors that make it very hard for someone afflicted to complete such an intimidating and important form. It’s a bit of a catch 22.
Mental stuff needs an in-person evaluation. I know ADHD isn’t necessarily this bad but stuff like PTSD, severe depression, and Bi-Polar absolutely suffer from the same problem. The system is set up to handle physical disabilities but not really mental ones.
Mental stuff needs an in-person evaluation.
Not having met me hasn’t stopped them from denying me twice.
Yeah, the system is fucked. You basically need to be paraplegic to get anything or be unlucky enough to have a specifically listed condition.
I like how we take blue sky posts
