FWIW I think the majority of people struggle with mental and physical health working 40/hr a week in earnest. It’s not sustainable and I wish we’d stop pretending like it is just because it’s less heinous than what predated it.

From what I understand, most employ various strategies to avoid literally working for 40 hours. The jobs that aren’t conducive to this (cough cough Amazon delivery and warehouse) are especially barbaric.

If you’re neurodivergent it’s much harder to retain a job in virtue of likability/social connections so you’re more likely to have to put your nose to the grindstone to get by.

Humans should not be coerced to sell all of the concentrated effort/time they get in a week (and then some) just to survive.

After a while (a few months to a few years) the workplace politics becomes unbearable, or culture becomes too toxic, or managers straight up ignore our feedback.

In all likelihood, these are not time-variable conditions. When you first start you don’t know about the politics - who’s going behind your back to sabotage you, who’s a climber, who is getting preferential treatment from management or HR. Ignorance is bliss. As you learn what terrible people you work with you find their existence to make the workplace “toxic.” And it doesn’t matter where you work - there will be terrible people, just different grades and distributions. Finally, the managers were ignoring your feedback from day one - they just pretended that you mattered so that you would settle in and become part of the machine. It’s basic onboarding.

This isn’t going to help you, but I quit and started my own business. It was…challenging. Prior to that, I found routines and resets in my daily work which let me (mostly) ignore the noise. Most were mental, setting timers to focus on tasks; learning to be a non-joiner with tact; roll with the sameness and view the work as “just a job”. Some were physical, like eating lunch quickly and spending the rest of my half hour lying down in my car.

I should say that I still get burnout, even though I’m a one-person consulting company. I recognize that my focus comes and goes and I when I get a manic period I try to push though work to “get ahead” (or at least catch up). More importantly, I try to recognize when my energy is flagging and not try to push through it. I let myself have the afternoon off. Two years ago I started taking an “admin” week every quarter. I put a message on my phone that I’m in training or in meetings (so people think I’m “working”) but I mostly just clean up the office, get personal project done around the house, and generally reset my focus. Sometimes I even do a little online training. Specifically - I don’t go away on vacation. Vacation doesn’t reset me like removing the life clutter that builds up when I’m busy at work and can’t get to (or are too tired to) do the peripheral things. I fully recognize that this is not really a valuable strategy for a most jobs, but if you have a certain amount of autonomy and you’re getting your deadlines met otherwise, scheduling some “training” time might be good. Just make it as regular as possible - put it in your year’s calendar on Jan 1. For me, it’s my reward for getting things done, and if I don’t make it a hard commitment, I’ll just move it - and it will never happen.

I hate to say it, but I don’t think there is a way. At least, there isn’t a way that works for me.

If I don’t get laid off I tend to switch jobs every three or four years out of burnout. I try to get into a field that I haven’t worked in before, and usually which has something to do with whatever I’ve been teaching myself in my spare time (aerospace, finance, whatever). As long as it pays the bills and has decent benefits (which is a lower and lower bar every year) I have a chance to recover. I resigned myself long ago to this being the cycle of my life, because the only things I’ve found that don’t result in eventual burnout are sleeping and reading.

I’m not neurodivergant, but I’ve definitely had to consciously get better at this. Booking regular holidays throughout the year is what helped me, don’t just take holiday when you get to screaming pitch. This gives you something to look forward to and hopefully means that you’ll be able to decompress before all the various annoyances build up.

I haven’t yet found a job that hasn’t eventually caused me to burn out, even the relatively chill jobs with little pressure have eventually had enough niggling issues to cause me issues.

Another thing is to not take on more trouble than you are paid for. If managers aren’t listening or politics is causing issues then just concentrate on doing your job to the best of your ability and nothing more, when issues start affecting the companies bottom line then they’ll take notice.

I just want you to know that your first paragraph feels as if it was written about me. I’ve gone through similar and am in the thick of it right now again. It feels a little hopeless at times. But, if nothing else, I understand the struggle, for whatever little that’s worth.

I’ve been holding the same office job with satisfaction for the last 20 years or so despite being an awkward yet likeable (citation needed) weirdo. Here’s how I manage:

• Pacing yourself is key. If you’re allowed breaks every couple of hours, take them. If not, take them anyways. If you struggle to stop for a break, it means you really need to take a break.
• The politics is part of the job. Treat it as such, with a cool head and a healthy distance.
• In a professional setting, nothing’s personal. Leave your ego at home (it’s safer there).
• Disconnect once the day is over. You’re not paid in the evening. Find some grounding activity to help if needed.
• Ideally, look for a job where it’s possible to somewhat care about the organization’s mission and to actively align with it. It’s more fun building a cathedral than stone cutting, even if it’s the same task.

YMMV of course.

The Simpsons has your back.

You need more distance between yourself and the job. If you’re burning out it means you’re overly engaged. You can’t burn out over something you don’t care about, and it’s really easy to burn out over something that means the world to you. The key is to find a healthy medium, which for neurodivergent folks can be difficult. Many of us find jobs because when we’re on, we’re really on, and we get a fuck ton more done because that’s our natural state about things we enjoy. This will get you positions and money and raises but it will also consume your life your free time and your mental health.

For some ND folks I’ve found they do best when blocking time- time for really in the zone, hyper focused, work work. They get the sense of accomplishment from finishing things and enjoy that feeling, but need to realize that this can’t be 8 hours every day. They need to block time to do other things. It could be literally stepping away from work, mentally checking out, blocking time to build connections or chat with coworkers, take a walk, or whatever. Adjust the blocks as necessary to ensure you’re not drained after work or feel like you’re burning out. For other ND folks it’s enough to simply say that they need to spend less time working each day. It depends a bit on the field and the position but most people are lucky if they get one or two hours of productive in the zone work per day. Most of the time people are on autopilot or avoiding work by chatting by the water cooler or browsing their website of choice.

The next step is setting boundaries. Work has a start and stop time. Don’t answer emails, phone calls, or do work outside of those boundaries. Unless you actually want to go to the work social events, you don’t have to, and if you decide you need to do it in order to maintain your social status you should treat it like work and do less other work less during the next time you’re at work. The more you allow work and life to comingle, the more you’re opening the door to burnout because you’re eliminating a space you have to retreat from work and recover.

Once those are under control, you can work on creating a healthy distance from the outcome of your work. What I mean by that is that you’re there because someone is paying you. You may have an interest in what you’re doing (and for many fields I deeply hope you do) but ultimately you’re not in charge and you have to be okay with things happening not exactly to plan or the way you want them to. I will absolutely tell my boss the best way to do something if they ask, but I also have to be completely okay with it happening a different way and this requires a certain distance from my work. This same distance will help protect you when new management comes in and flips the entire script. You’re not there to ensure the company puts out the best product, you’re there to do things the way the person above you decides to do them. You can tell them they’re doing it wrong, why it has always been done this way, and all of the reasons why the new way will be worse (and even remind them of such when it fails and they reverse course), but you should only be doing this while being completely willing to do it the new way they’re proposing and that’s a lot easier when you care a little less about the outcome. If you’re unwilling to make that compromise, which is a perfectly valid way to want to work, you’re going to burn out from time to time unless you get lucky and land a job at one of the very few places that gets you.

I have a great workplace environment, although it is demanding, and still taxing on me. After my burnout, I reduced working hours to keep it sustainable.