Now that I’m in my thirties I no longer have to (can) jump

Uh-oh, time to kill 15,000 more civilians

Most of us are childless adults because of republican policies.

Dexif

He usually initiates the conversation, informing me he spotted a racoon in the back yard

I’m a childless cat dude, can I join?

I love the verbal visualization;

A million seconds is 12 days. A billion seconds is 31 years. A trillion seconds is 31,688 years.

I was laid off several several months ago, am kinda glad now

America’s stance has been “fuck the working class” since the 80’s at this point I’d love to see anyone try

Passively informed is an understatement, also we’re supposed to be available to work at a moments call, with limited time off availability. Am I gonna just tell my boss I’m leaving early to go vote?

Ah fuck, that’s more terrifying than I’d imagined!

I’m more concerned about the indestructible glockroach!

Neon lights, noble prize, when the mirror speaks, the reflection lies

Yea, been doing this for the last 20 years, we must be close

This is awesome though, thank you, exactly what I wanted!

How many windows updates have bricked PC’s over the years?

“It’s about that time I realized it wasn’t a Meme at all, it was the loch Ness monsta!”

3rd rock from the wormhole.

Remindes me of how the patent for the first fire hydrant was destroyed in a fire

And the name of his first porno!