Thank fucking Christ he’s old and will be dead soon. That’s all I’m holding onto right now.

Well I haven’t experienced this level of disappointment since childhood.

There’s no goddamn way anyone let them on an international flight without a valid US passport.

Why in the hell is it always toilet paper?

That’s a fair assessment. However, I personally, am at my limit of awful things I’m able to carry around with me currently. Best I can muster is a “fuck this silly hat wearing asshole” at present.

Ah well good thing I don’t particularly give a shit what some guy in an (admittedly) awesome party hat thinks about me, as a vagina owner.

Honestly, they’ve become my uniform. Comfort - ✔️ Full range of motion - ✔️ Full coverage - ✔️

High waist compression leggings are my go-to. Even when I’m cycling you can’t see the top of whatever underwear I chose to wear that day.

I make things in my spare time so I don’t tell people to go to hell during my work time. These things are not quite the same.

I didn’t realize Siri and the cats were conspiring. Yesterday I went into the living room to investigate a ruckus and found one of my cats sitting on the couch while the home pod in the window sill was playing Mumford and Sons.

That, uh, was definitely a hard ‘r’ there. Jesus Christ.

I suspect this is similar to how someone is going to find my carcass.

It’s captivating, really. I can’t stop looking at it.

It’s a lot like trying to pick up a turd by the clean end.

I regret to inform them that that’s not how that works.

Yeah, I’m keeping that.

Looks like that one in the background is next.

Pardon the fuck?

It’s just sunk cost fallacy all the way down.

Combat on Atari 2600.