Yes, but you’d have to be really strict about the word “consenting”. Human breast milk is vegan as long as it’s given freely with consent and not as a form of exploitation, and so we could probably engineer a convoluted scenario where human meat is technically vegan. Let’s run through some possible ones with the understanding that all of it is still nasty as fuck, unethical in every circumstance that could plausibly happen in the real world, and will probably give you a prion disease:
Killing and eating someone without their consent. Obviously unethical and obviously not vegan; moving on.
Finding and eating an already-dead body. Desecrating a corpse is – I think – widely considered a very cruel act toward a person even if they’re no longer alive, and moreover, it would inflict immense psychological suffering on those close to that person that their family member or friend was dismembered to be eaten.
Getting consent to eat them after they die. I think this is probably the closest you could physically get to giving Carl from Llamas with Hats a vegan diet. First, the person would need to offer consent, and I think this would go beyond traditional contract law, requiring robust, multifaceted mediation from psychiatric professionals as well as a judge. “Are you sure you want to do this, and are you sure you’re in the right state of mind to consent to something like this?” Next, both death and how they’re eaten would have to be strictly on the terms of the one being eaten: their time, their method, their circumstance. If they want to back out at the last minute, that’s their prerogative. And lastly, for such an extreme circumstance, I think it should be the case that you can’t promise anything at all in exchange, and it must not be from any person who has tangible power over the lives of the person being eaten or someone very close to the person being eaten. Essentially trying to limit the possibility of a quid pro quo. Even with this broad list of protections, there are almost assuredly factors I’m not properly accounting for.
Simple. Just record yourself saying it and make listening to it a stipulation for eating you. It sucks you won’t be able to see the reaction though. I bet they’d chuckle.
I don’t think there are any vegans in The British Miracle Meat but I could be wrong. It says a lot about the state of everything that people actually thought it was real!
Is human steak from a consenting donor vegan?
Yes, but you’d have to be really strict about the word “consenting”. Human breast milk is vegan as long as it’s given freely with consent and not as a form of exploitation, and so we could probably engineer a convoluted scenario where human meat is technically vegan. Let’s run through some possible ones with the understanding that all of it is still nasty as fuck, unethical in every circumstance that could plausibly happen in the real world, and will probably give you a prion disease:
TL;DR: Not in the real world, no.
I can tell you right now with 100% sincerity, if you want to eat me after I’m dead, feel free!
I’d never thought about it before, but now I genuinely want to find a way for people who want to try human to get a part of me before they burn me.
I’m gonna be dead, wtf do I care?
My only regrets are that I will never know how I taste and that I don’t get to personally tell people to bite my ass.
Simple. Just record yourself saying it and make listening to it a stipulation for eating you. It sucks you won’t be able to see the reaction though. I bet they’d chuckle.
it would at least be carbon negative
Ask Bernd Brandes.
Absolutely more than that
I don’t think there are any vegans in The British Miracle Meat but I could be wrong. It says a lot about the state of everything that people actually thought it was real!