Of course you’re exhausted, you must have worked extremely hard to find that stability. I’m truly sorry you were not able to enjoy play as a child like all people deserve.

Play is something humans do to regenerate and learn. It’s still a very good thing for you to learn to do now, maybe even one of the most constructive uses of your time - you have already identified it as a gap in your experience and that you’re tired.

Was there any play you wanted to try as a kid but weren’t able to? It could be a team sport like football, or drawing, or chess, or building, anything. Collaborative, solo, competitive, or all of them. Now is a great time to learn to play and to rest, and it will do you good even if it’s not currently something you consider ‘constructive’ right now. You can even help other kids in your community with similar experiences while you do it, if you like.

Good luck! It will feel weird and new at first, but there is a lot to learn from play and you don’t need to be a kid to get the positive effects.