Spy X Family S3E10
omg just about every time coworkers talk about their husbands I leave the conversation feeling really, really, really grateful for what I have
My wife and I are basically attached at the hip. She’s my best friend and we do so much to support each other on all fronts.
Meanwhile in our friend circles, it’s the total opposite. People that are clearly with the wrong partners but refuse to change or grow; one that continues chasing a relationship they’ve admitted is toxic for them; couples that are married out of what seems like trauma alone or they’ve simply drifted due to never communicating; a few with the weird “wife bad lol” boomer mentality; a now-acquaintance that used to always give everyone unsolicited advice, has now started expressing misogynistic views after being perpetually single. Just no capacity for introspection and self-reflection.
My wife and I are by no means perfect, but we are open with each other, we cheer each other on, and we talk through things that bug us. The building blocks are simple but some folks refuse to adhere to them, while constantly wondering what went wrong.
Women have always been the strongest leaders throughout my life. My wife is my world and I personally think that women make better leaders. I’ve never been interested in any of the dumb humor and thought tropes that come out of male circles about women, even dating back to high school. All of that shit has always felt weird and makes me lose respect for the men that lean on that kind of lazy punch-down humor.
Open, honest communication is the foundation for ANY healthy long term relationship. Spousal, friendship, family, all of it. It genuinely baffles me how many people don’t seem to get what that means. It doesn’t mean you need to be perfect. It means you need to approach tension in your relationship in good faith and with intent to fix it as a team, not as an excuse to shirk responsibility and blame others. Even if it isn’t your fault. Blame itself does not offer solutions.
As a 100% polyamorous person, most folks first instinct is to ask me how I can manage it without getting jealous and are shocked to hear that, if anything, I feel orders of magnitude less jealousy than I would in an exclusive relationship. The problems they usually cite are problems that would be just as bad if not worse with monogamy, as evidenced by how many peoe cheat in monogamy. Their gut reaction is to imagine it as some sort of cuckold/cuckuean humiliation ritual when it really just comes down to the fact that I’m not perfect, I accept that fact and I want the ones I love to maximize the love they feel by seeking what I can’t provide from others. It’s such a burden off my chest. I can love my wife in the ways I do best and just be happy with that.
I kinda lost track what I was talking about I’m a bit sleep deprived. But I’m happy you and your wife are flourishing and I hope any changes to come only serve to strengthen that 💚🐿️
My wife and I are at the bar patio right now playing board games.
Perfect. What games?
Love this perspective and I feel a lot of the same
It’s the “Ain’t it Awful” game. Just tell them he has a small dick and they’ll concede. It works twofold: they’ll feel sorry for you, and you won’t have to worry that they’ll try to fuck him.
This is funny, but if my wife did this, I would be devastated.
I’m a guy and this is me with my friends. Every time we hang out they have such boomer attitudes about their wives, one is even convinced that I’m gonna get divorced just because he did and views all marriages that way. It’s depressing, but there is one friend in the group who agrees with me that our wives are our best friends and soulmates.
I work in IT. Every time more than a handful of IT folks get together the talk always turns towards how shitty their wives are/were before the divorce.
Or the wife is framed as someone who keeps them from buying tech stuff (“I’d like to upgrade my homelab, but the purchasing department keeps turning me down! Har har”).
I’m just sitting here with a lovely wife who trusts me to spend money on what we need to keep the tech stuff working.
I’ve had the opposite experience. A few year ago a bunch of the guys I hung out with in college got together at a Wurstfest (German festival every November in Bew Braunfels, Texas), and got super drunk. All the married guys were talking about how they just loved their wives so much.
It was super wholesome.
German festival every November in Bew Braunfels, Texas
Oh man, I was expecting a town in Germany and nearly broke my brain trying to pronounce “Bew Braunfels” in German.
Then I read the “Texas”. 😅
I remember seeing here on Lemmy a while back that a good boyfriend/girlfriend is a best friend where there is also an erotic angle.
an erotic angle.
Or at least a cute one
ACE
Ventura, Cute Math Detective
Cutely fitting.
I was referencing Ace as in asexual.Being “Ace Venture, Cute math Detective”… Fits
A Cute Engels?
You went too far. You’re in the deep end.
I’d like to propose that it’s not an erotic angle, but a romantic one!
I know for many it’s probably the same thing, but to me there’s a clear difference between a close friend who you also have sex with and a romantic partner
As one of the ancient poets once said
How can we be loves if we can’t be friends?
- Michael Bolton, 1989
I thought he was a no-talent ass-clown!
And more importantly, why should I have to change? he’s the one who sucks
one is even convinced that I’m gonna get divorced just because he did and views all marriages that way
Classic Divorced Guy
there is one friend in the group who agrees with me that our wives are our best friends and soulmates
Wife and I joke about how we can never get divorced because it would be too awkward when we kept hanging out as friends.
But we also have a friend couple that did get divorced, and still hang out regularly on very good terms.
My parents vacation together 4 to 5 times a year (pensioners), all 4 of them are great friends. It’s so cute but a little bit wild, because during the last years of their marriage they really didn’t get along and I remember that time vividly.
But we also have a friend couple that did get divorced, and still hang out regularly on very good terms.
Some people are just better as friends than lovers and I think that’s awesome if they can figure that out before doing irreparable damage to said friendship.
I have a pretty significant ex, and it certainly took some introspection and painful internal work, but I eventually was able to hang out with them again and still really value their friendship; I even invited them to my wedding, and attended theirs in kind.
As I saw it, this person was my best friend for the majority of six years together, and I didn’t want to totally discard that part of myself that had that friendship, even if the romantic relationship didn’t ultimately work out.
I’m no longer sure the romance part can even be real.
It’s just friends all the way down.
Some people are just better as friends than lovers
Mrs. Doubttfure taught me that same lesson!
I know it’s random, but can I just say I’m so happy that movie didn’t end with her falling in love with him again and leaving James Bond? He wasn’t even a bad guy! I’ve always respected that.
I dated a guy for 13 years, when we finally broke up we were still going to events together!
Same here
After a few beers I usually just try to hold back the question why they’re even together with their wife, if they’re so unhappy with her
I do get, that some people just need to vent, but I don’t have anything bad to say about my wife.
She loves this piece of shit, that I am. In my eyes she is an absolute saintThat’s kind of my take. My wife puts up with me, and even seems to enjoy being around me. That’s pretty unusual and I question her judgement. I’m certainly not complaining.
It’s people who rush into relationships because they feel like they need one, instead of taking time to find your actual best friend forever.
Once again, more low-hanging fruit from queen cringe. Outside of blocking the community, is there any way to block this slop from my feed?
I can’t fucking stand her.
Is this cringe? What’s cringe about it?
The author.
So what you’re saying is you’re so chronically online you not only can’t enjoy a comic strip because of who signed it, you feel the need to also announce it and try to take that enjoyment away from other people. Alright buddy… Are you ok?
Oh shit! I forgot! The internet is a place where people validate themselves by agreeing with every- and anything they see so as to strengthen their bond with hive. What was I thinking trying to raise awareness to a horrible shitty person that cause a lot of trouble for a lot of innocent people. My god! What was I thinking?!
You must accept my sincerest of apologies. I didn’t mean to upset you with my outlying opinion of something you seem to be very protective of.
From the heart of my bottom, please accept the forthcoming apology:
Next time you want to raise awareness about something, start with talking about the “something” before being an ass, maybe? You want to raise awareness and nowhere did you even say exactly what about. I don’t even know who this person is, nor do I care to know at this point because that would mean interacting with you again.
LMAO…. Okaybuddy.
This is extremely weird behaviour for sure, I’ve been very critical of her work before, but I will admit this is a decent comic.
She seems to have gotten tired of fighting with men on the Internet.
She got tired of starting fights and creating drama you mean.
I’m both unfamiliar with the comic and the author. What’s cringe about the author?
She has the most consensual takes, yet acts like she’s some sort of rebel. She also has a bad reputation because mods on /r/comics simp for her and ban every comment even remotely critcal.
Also her drawings are terrible.
She started some major drama getting accounts on Reddit banned and posts comets removed if someone so much as offered constructive criticism of her work. Then after starring a shitstorm of drama, she pretended to be a victim of the very shit she caused.
She’s the worst.
is there any way to block this slop from my feed?
TLDR: You’re gonna have to research how based on how you view this community.
The Methods I know:
Not open the post when you see the artist-you-don’t-like’s name in the title?
Or if you want a offload it to an automated system it’ll depend on how you view this community in general.
Some apps (like Voyager, Connect, and Eternity) have filtering options in the settings and so do some frontends (Like Alexandrite) for Lemmy (I’m unfamiliar with PieFed instances though so YMMV on this front)
I’ve also heard that it’s possible to setup uBlock Origin to do filtering on Lemmy and Reddit so perhaps that will work on PieFed (though if you use Chrome you’re gonna be SOL on this front with Google killing it on their platform)
Unfortunately, Voyager’s filter system only works on keywords. If people share it and the name isn’t mentioned in the title, it doesn’t get filtered. I’ve looked into it. That’s why I was asking. Maybe there’s something I was unaware of- but it seems that is not the case
Without an artist name mentioned in the title, yeah it’d make it to your feed.
It’s odd though (if you’re using Voyager’s filtering that is) that this post made it to your feed as I always tag the artist in the titles on my post. It’s at the end formatted like “[artist name]” so it’s more clear for people.
Perhaps try adding her name in square brackets to your filter instead?
Way to implicate yourself there bud
Do you know what “implicate” even means?
Yes.
See…. I don’t think you do. I’d ask you to use it in a sentence, but you clearly already fucked that up.
Don’t talk about yourself like that!
This is why there needs to be an age limit to social media.
No idea why this is downvoted, it’s substanceless virtue signalling or repurposing 5 year old reddit culture sentiments into 4 panel soullessness
No to mention how everyone nowadays likes to virtue signal everything under the sun but somehow gives this crone a pass for all the shit she caused.
Selective outrage is a real thing…
OOTL, what shit she caused?
Just look up “PizzaCake Reddit drama” and enjoy that rabbit hole. I don’t have the time or patience to type it all out.
I checked and skimmed it, basically she made a point on how men comment on women in the reversed perspective and people(presumably men) are angry about that which they made a mock sub solely about her and bully her on every occasion possible, which then brought that toxicity to lemmy when the exodus happened. And you want me to side with you…? 🤨
I’m a man myself, this whole situation smell exactly like the Phil Fish controversy. Yall don’t get to call yourself a better person when all yall does is bully someone that is mildly annoying to you.
Lmao…. No, that’s not how it went down. But you do you. And how are you better? You “skimmed” info, got one or two takes and then judged me on the entire thing.
I asked for your perspective, you’re too lazy to type it out, don’t blame me for not seeing your POV.
Relationships work best when you just do things.
Only job I don’t touch is laundry. I’m perfectly fine doing it, but my spouse has the most convaluted ADHD non-system. When I do help I end up washing clean clothes and putting away dirty clothes because I can’t tell what pile is what.
I love my partner but honestly, gun to my head, I could never get a load of her laundry done without disaster. I tried, but determining which of her infinite identical black articles of clothing are hand-wash only, which are dry-clean only, which are cold wash hang-dry, which are tumble dry light, etc. is a skill I completely lack. Add to it that she’s autistic as all hell and so has removed the tags from every article of clothing she owns and I never stood a chance on this one…
(meanwhile my own laundry follows the “if it can’t go into the wash on heavy-duty, hot, it’s weak and needs to be culled from the herd” line of thinking. I’m not particularly presentable, I admit.)
All I had to do was ruin a few articles of her clothing and I was off the job. I was truly trying to be helpful, but the blowback was real. I still do my own, however.
First sentence sounded a lot like weaponized incompetence. 😅
IKR? I was accused of that, but it was honestly unintentional even if the results were not entirely undesirable…
Laundry go in machine come out wet. Put in next machine, come out dry. It was a while ago and I have since learned there is nuance with fabrics/temps/hang dry, etc. I still do just my own laundry as the lesson is not forgotten, but I am also approved for general sheets and towels duty. You do what you will with the original information!
My spouse set up individual tubs for each person’s clothes to be put in after the dryer (including tubs for blankets and towels).
Very organized, but the entire laundry room floor is covered in these individual tubs.
I fold things as soon as I take them out of the dryer so I can avoid the tubs.
My wife and i kind of just fell into set tasks that we dont mind doing, but the other person hates. For example, i hate emptying the dishwasher, but i dont mind filling it. She does all the laundry, i do all the bathroom cleaning.
I always found that so difficult to grasp, too. Even if you’re splitting responsibilities, so that one person does the dayjob and the other does the household, hell, even if you’ve decided to be a terrible partner, how do you never think to yourself:
- “I need some space on this table, let me just put away a few things.” or
- “I’d like this one specific meal that I have in mind, I’ll try to prepare it.”
???
Ooh, I can answer the first one! With two answers!
Answer one is because things that I already saw there basically fade into the background. You know how in, like, Hannah Barbara cartoons it’d be obvious when a cupboard was going to open, because they had the static background painted on a different layer, and the moving objects were on foreground cells with slightly different colours? Right, so, when I first notice something new in a new location I might go “huh, why is that there?”, but once I’ve seen it, it’s now not new, and I basically don’t see it anymore. So long as it’s not actively in my way, it’s a static part of the background.
There have been times when I was actively trying to clean up a room because we were going to have guests over, and I noticed I had been cleaning around a large white plastic bag that was on the coffee table, probably from some food delivery in the past several months. Like, my whole job was cleaning and tidying, and it was like the bright white bag was part of the table. I think it’s just always been there 😛
It wasn’t until I had already cleaned under the edges of it that I went “hang on… This is garbage. Why am I trying to preserve this and keep it undisturbed?”
Unfortunately my wife is, I think, basically the same way, so our house is a nightmare. Or it would be if either of us could see it 😉
The second reason is much simpler, which it that when something is in a place, and I know I didn’t put it there, I assume my wife may have put it there for a reason. So probably best to not touch it, in case she wanted it here, or comes looking for it here again in the future.
I can so relate to the “it’s probably there for a reason” part 😅
I also know my wife does a lot of things automatically and I really shouldn’t assume there’s any reason behind it, but it’s the path of least resistance.
If your friends trash-talk their partner behind their back, guess what they say about you behind yours.
Honestly, there are some people who shit-talk their exes so much that I worry a little bit.
A red flag for sure.
“All my exes are crazy!” — sure they are.
Hot take: venting about the person you live with doesn’t mean you’ll be venting about people you hang out with occasionally.
But it would be good to discuss your issues with the person face to face, regardless if it’s a friend, roommate, or spouse.
Hotter take: If they stay with someone they can’t talk to about their problems with, they’re going to have other flaws as well. A healthy functioning adult is not gonna be in that kind of relationship, or stay in it either
I don’t think that’s a hot take, I think that’s a perfectly reasonable take.
I don’t think that’s what the comic in the OP is referencing.
Certainly not what I was referencing.
You said
If your friends trash-talk their partner behind their back, guess what they say about you behind yours.
I responded to argue that this wasn’t the case, and that some people complain about their live in partner but don’t complain about their non live in friends.
I know what I said.
I know what you said.
You aren’t clocking the situation correctly.
Your partner getting on your nerves and you going to a therapist or a trusted friend to vent and/or get critical feedback is one thing.
Getting into a circle of people who are griping about about their parter, especially when they twist your arm to join in the trash-talking, is another thing entirely. But even in a one-on-one situation, someone who trashes their partner (implying habituality), isn’t someone to trust with sensitive information. It’s a particularly cruel kind of gossiping, which you should also avoid. Because guess what happens when you talk to a gossip? They pry information out of you and spread it around.
Also note that I said “trash-talking” where you said “venting.”
Different situations.
Weaponized Competence!
I saw this from another angle a while ago. Speaking to a group of women at work and mentioned I do pretty much all the cooking at home. One of them asked what I make and I got the impression she doubted my ability, she is older and perhaps basing this off her own husband.
So I listed some weekday meals I typically make, made a point that it is all stuff I make after work too because someone had mentioned not having the time to cook.
Sourdough pizza, egg fried rice and lemon chicken, toad in the hole, pie with roast potatoes and gravy. Then sometimes if we want a pudding I sometimes make rice pudding, or steamed sponge like a jam roly poly or spotted dick.
I am a big fan of weekday risotto since learning you don’t actually have to stir it if you have a good sealing dutch oven or pressure cooker and short grain rice.
Please don’t be alarmed, but I am finding out where you live and coming round for my tea.
Lol my wife works in a clinic with some folks that are a little messy, with messier SOs.
I get so much goodwill for just laying in the cut. Sending a meme instead of a mean text is apparently a hard hurdle to clear for some folks.
Hey, a PizzaCake comic with a punchline! Keep up the good work!
Wow, you really know how to give compliments.
It was in earnest. I’m one of the haters and this got a chuckle out of me.
Same! I guess we won’t get branded as incel misogynists this time for saying it’s not funny!
Idk why this is being downvoted.
Like her comics or not - that’s on you - the reality is that people that criticize them are called incel misogynists, and god forbid you make state that on any of the comic subs (they’ll nuke your account).
Seriously, this one was actually a comic, and was funny!
She used to be so funny before she pivoted to “my haters are neckbeard incels” content instead of actual comics.
Edit: looks like she’s been making better comics again for about a month or two https://bsky.app/profile/pizzacakecomic.bsky.social
She was interacting with redditors and twitter people for a bit. convinced the entire internet was those sorts of people.
If i interact with redditor and twitter(twitteror?) i’d think the same too. If i went on Thread i will want to shut down the whole internet.
And she’s saying something positive about men.
Do you think she’s OK?
She’s not. She’s saying something positive about a man. But more broadly saying men are incompetent & acknowledging the exceptions.
Does it count as a punchline when it’s a fairly played out trope at this point?
Baby steps.
I remember my ex-wife telling me something similar - i wasn’t even a very good husband because of my psychiatric issues which weren’t fixable, but i gave her attention and wanted her to feel good. Seemingly the average hubby is failing even at this if the feedback she got back from her friends and colleagues was worth anything.
Nah, some people just like to make stuff up to complain about something.
The bar for “decently responsible and kind man” seems incredibly low.
Yeah, my behavior towards her never really was an issue in the relationship, it was the inability to pull my weight because of my problems, and the quirks that come with my diagnosis like being bad at receiving criticism (at least when completely unprepared to receive it - i learned to step back emotionally if being told i’d get feedback which worked good enough, but that’s pretty clunky in a relationship)
If being responsible and kind was all it took, more would succeed.
Often times it’s damn near on the ground but don’t worry, there’s guys that still bring a shovel
My wife enjoys cooking, I don’t really like it.
My wife hates doing dishes, but I find it a nice excuse to listen to a podcast while doing something menial.
![Having a good partner [PizzaCake]](https://slrpnk.net/pictrs/image/3c29d75b-f0f5-4c4b-ad7a-5dd4bfeb0f06.webp){kind=link}