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Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldEnglish · 4 days ago

The line cook quietly handed me this

slrpnk.net

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The line cook quietly handed me this

slrpnk.net

Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldEnglish · 4 days ago
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  • f4f4f4f4f4f4f4f4@sopuli.xyz
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    3 days ago

    What is the charge? Eating a meal? A succulent Viennese meal?

    • TargaryenTKE@lemmy.world
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      1-Great reference, thank you

      2-The charge is taking a bite out of the middle like a fucking psychopath

      • f4f4f4f4f4f4f4f4@sopuli.xyz
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        3 days ago

        Oh yeah, I forgot that doing that was “antisocial behavior”.

    • lordziv@lemmy.nz
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      3 days ago

      THIS IS DEMOCRACY MANIFEST

      • No_Eponym@lemmy.ca
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        3 days ago

        Get your hand off my wiener!

      • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.today
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        3 days ago

        No, it’s a Costco hot dog.

  • Grostleton@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    4 days ago

    Listen, man. I like to abuse my weiner as much as the next guy, but this is just excessive.

    • AeronMelon@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      • [deleted]@piefed.world
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        3 days ago

        0geyrrSV5GhS4XK.gif

        • johnyreeferseed@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          3 days ago

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          3 days ago

          deleted by creator

    • danc4498@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      I’m picturing the ketchup smeared all over his face while reading this.

    • CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      Jesus, I wouldn’t even do this to a terrorist hotdog at a blacksite. Even I have limits.

    • TomMasz@piefed.social
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      3 days ago

      Put this in the dictionary alongside the definition of Wrong.

  • MasutaHarada@thelemmy.club
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    3 days ago

    whatever happened to that hotdog is not right.

    • Rooster326@programming.dev
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      3 days ago

      That’s why he’s cut off. It’s his first one.

  • Snapz@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    The weirdest thing here is them calling the Costco cashier a “line cook”

  • TrackinDaKraken@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    He watched you bite the dog, and knew it was time.

  • ceenote@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    You got off easy, sicko.

    • gedaliyah@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      This is a severe underreaction. OP should be locked up safely away from society.

      • crank0271@lemmy.world
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        4 days ago

        Isn’t that why they’re on Lemmy?

  • gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works
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    3 days ago

  • tigermountain@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    How you ate that hotdog is an affront to all mankind.

  • Sunflier@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    People seem to be throwing a tiff over the bite from the center of the hotdog, but the real sins is not putting mustard on the dog and putting ketchup on the hotdog, equally.

    • Tikiporch@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      The real sin is calling it katsup.

      • Sunflier@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        Fixed. Was typing on my phone, and it autocorrected to a learned word that my kid put in.

    • Warl0k3@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      "What this food really needs is to taste like warm plant farts, bring on the mustard!"
      - You

      (this post brought to you by the ketchup gang)

      • JigglySackles@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        Better than sweetened tomato taints

    • bork@sh.itjust.works
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      2 days ago

      What’s wrong with ketchup on a hotdog bro

      • Sunflier@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        Its basic hotdog etiquette to not use ketchup on your hot dog after the age of 18. Mustard, relish, onions, cheese and chili are acceptable.

        • bork@sh.itjust.works
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          Disagree, put whatever you want on your hot dog, who am I to judge?

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            You’re god, bork. Ultimately, you will judge us all.

        • DeadDigger@lemmy.zip
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          But it’s basic human etiquette to not eat stuff you are allergic too

          • Sunflier@lemmy.world
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            23 hours ago

            You’re allergic to chilli, cheese, onions, and relish?

            • DeadDigger@lemmy.zip
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              21 hours ago

              Mustard and relish yeah

  • baconsunday@lemmy.zip
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    Idk, that card looks like some AI which makes this whole post slop to me.

    • HerbGrower@slrpnk.net
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      What difference would it make to the shitpost if it was an AI edited card in the picture, gimp edited, or someone printed out the card themselves? Or even they used AI to make the card and then printed it out and took the picture.

      Why would one be slop and not the other?

      • JcbAzPx@lemmy.world
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        AI ads the stench of stolen work to the mix.

      • baconsunday@lemmy.zip
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        2 days ago

        All of the difference.

  • Grail@multiverse.soulism.net
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    3 days ago

    Bill Shorten eating a hot dog:

    • EvenOdds@lemmy.zip
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      2 days ago

      Surely that’s a snag, not a hot dog?

  • Deacon@lemmy.world
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    For all of my fellow Chicagoans who, like me, are seeing this with no warning or preparation, I can share support resources, and I’m here if you just need to talk about it.

    Edit: for those in need of assistance.

    • dwemthy@lemmy.world
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      It’s fine, that’s just blood from their nose because of the head rush from slurping the entire garden up with that courageous bite. Do not correct me, this belief is going to get me through the rest of the day

    • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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      One Christmas I asked for the neon green relish for Christmas. My cool bil (who ran a hot dog stand) sent me a big assjar. Hell yeah.

      • Deacon@lemmy.world
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        You’ve got it. The more it looks like it would glow in the dark the better.

    • Pacattack57@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      Wait does Chicago Costco use Vienna beef??

      • Deacon@lemmy.world
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        I doubt it. Vienna beef is just The Dog in a Chicago Dog for the most part.

    • hansolo@lemmy.today
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      Hey, I’m here for you, too. We’re all here for you.

      Well, I’m here for you as long as you don’t put a drop of fucking ketchup on that dog.

      • ThunderclapSasquatch@startrek.website
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        Ketchup is great on hotdogs, FIGHT ME MALORT BEING!

        • HerbGrower@slrpnk.net
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          Ketchup and English mustard is great. Just don’t apply the mustard like an America.

        • hansolo@lemmy.today
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          In the Holy name of Da Bears, I swear on The Bean I will deliver smack down so hard, your grandchildren will taste celery salt and pickles! I’ll waterboard you in Old Style until you see reason, ya cheesehead!

  • OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world
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    If you can’t throat an entire Costco hot dog wiener in one bite you don’t deserve to eat it.

    • Midnight Wolf@lemmy.world
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      I had an ex that could/would have done that, on cue, anytime. Their skill was unmatched, their dedication unwavering, their gag reflex nonexistent.

      I miss them.

      • kestrel7_7@lemmy.world
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        You dated the fastest hot dog shooter in the northwest? Omg

      • Log in | Sign up@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        You would, you would.

    • ickplant@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

  • Banana@sh.itjust.works
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    3 days ago

    Your browser does not support playing HTML5 video. You can download the file instead.

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    Obligatory wkuk sketch

    https://youtu.be/MRh91b74zTU

    • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
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      I love that it starts with 0-2 hotdogs and then escalates to 7 by lunchtime.

      • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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        “Is that bad?”

        “Well, it’s not good.”

        • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
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          Doctor: Uh So, Timmy, I got your bloodwork in, and I have a couple of questions.

          Timmy: Okay.

          Doctor: Just about how many hot dogs do you eat a day?

          Timmy: How many hot dogs?

          Doctor: Yeah.

          Timmy: Geez. I don’t know. I mean, you know, some days I could eat a couple and some days I don’t eat any.

          Doctor: Okay. Let’s just say for an average. Take your whole week and try to figure out what your daily amount would be.

          Timmy: I have no idea.

          Doctor: Just try.

          Timmy: Okay. A whole week average per day would be something like, I don’t know, seven.

          Doctor: Seven hot dogs?

          Timmy: Seven, yeah.

          Doctor: A day?

          Timmy: ls that high?

          Doctor: It’s a little high.

          Timmy: ls that bad?

          Doctor: Well It’s not good.

          Timmy: I mean, l’m just ball-parking here, you know?

          Doctor: Sure, sure. Timmy, I wanna try something if you don’t mind. Walk me through one of your days.

          Timmy: Walk you through my day?

          Doctor: Yeah, just take me through a day in a life of Timmy.

          Timmy: Okay. Well I wake up, and I take a shower. And, you know, get ready for work. I go downstairs and I have a bagel and something for breakfast.

          Doctor: And something?

          Timmy: A hot dog.

          Doctor: Hot dog. Okay.

          Timmy: I mean, I do usually eat a hot dog there.

          Doctor: Okay.

          Timmy: Then I take the train to work.

          Doctor: Slow down. Slow down. Does anything happen on the way to work?

          Timmy: Oh. Ha ha. I almost forgot. On the way to the subway there is a hotdog stand, so I usually have one or two, yeah.

          Doctor: Two hot dogs.

          Timmy: Yeah. I usually have two hotdogs before work.

          Doctor: So that’s three hot dogs before work.

          Timmy: Right, yeah. If you’re gonna count the one at home. I mean, this is all just breakfast, you know?

          Doctor: No, I understand. I get it.

          Timmy: Then I just go through my whole day at work.

          Doctor: Okay.Hold up. Walk me through your workday. What happens at lunch?

          Timmy: Oh, lunch, well I mean, some days I’ll just blow through lunch because of how busy I am and all.

          Doctor: Really?

          Timmy: Well l’m pretty sure I did that once.

          Doctor: Okay. Well, on the days that you’re not ‘‘blowing through lunch’’ what do you have?

          Timmy: Well, on those days sometimes it could just be a salad.

          Doctor: Could it?

          Timmy: Yeah. But it’s usually–

          Doctor: It’s usually hot dogs?

          Timmy: Yeah, it’s usually hot dogs.

          Doctor: How many hot dogs?

          Timmy: I don’t know. Anywhere between one and four.

          Doctor: Four hot dogs.

          Timmy: Yeah, that’s probably safe.

          Doctor: Well, I hope there’s no more hot dogs in the day 'cause we’re up to seven now.

          Timmy: Yeah, on second thought, that number might be a little low.

          • Log in | Sign up@lemmy.world
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            3 days ago

            This is absolute gold thank you so much.

          • davetortoise@reddthat.com
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            3 days ago

            My friend how long did you spend on this

            • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
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              Not long. I found the script online. It was a little jumbled and missing the character names. I just added those and cleaned it up a bit.

              • davetortoise@reddthat.com
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                Fair enough

    • Funkt4st1c@lemmy.world
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      I think this is how doctors expect me to answer auestions about alcohol and smoking. Ive smoked kne cigarette ever, and a single beer gets me drunk for the night, about once a week. Doctors hear that and think im having 3 hot dogs before i get to work

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